Ice cold weather breaks
my fingers and my heart.
Quiet contemplation left me
recalling all my dreams of you--
loud, but still bitter.
Skeleton key of my heart
was lost so long ago,
uncared for and forgotten
like a lonely wilted rose.
Violent feelings hurt me
whilst bursting at the seams,
muffled, corrupt screaming
sat hidden under stains.
Let this cold subdue me,
steal my soul with ire.
Despised fiery passion
burnt the holes that are my wounds.
Author notes
Picture credit goes to paroxysm, off deviantart.com.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
outstanding
I loved this poem. It flowed very evenly, yet it didn't rhyme and I think that proves how talented a poet you are. It really made me feel something. I love the imagery with cold and frost-I think this poem is seriously brilliant. I really do think you have a great talent for writing poetry.
-
It has some cliche phrases but I never mind about that. I think life is cliche. Matter of fact I think that will be my motto!
-
Sad story but the imagery is good. Especially like the first two lines, they set the mood perfectly.
-
Very Dark Write
Wow you did a great job with the imagery in your poem and the picture is perfect. Such a sad and painful poem. Excellent job. Thank you for sharing with the group and with me.
Many Blessings
Kelle Marie
stavykm
-
you have great metaphors here. My favorite line was "Skeleton key of my heart" it's a twist on the idiom which makes it unique yet you can understand that it is more than just a "key to your heart" because skeleton keys are more universal and can open many doors (put intended). lol.
-
*whistles* Nicely written! Sadly the piece reflects a place I have been in for a while. I have felt this and have tried to reflect this through my writing before, without success. You have succeeded where I have failed, and for that I give you kudos.
Good luck in the contest.
-
I love deviantart.com
You paint a vision that I don't want to feel. -
this is a very dark poem goes well with the picture good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing this with the group
-
Liked the metaphors used in these lines; the flow, and your interpretation of the picture that was served to prompt writers in this contest. Wishing you well...
-
Your words convey the depth of pain at this loss. Well worded and the poem flowed nicely.
alby
-
You'd done a great job out of this. The coldness of the winter and the breaking of the heart go very well together.
-
I really like the stark contrast you have between the burning and the freezing; it adds a nice touch to your emotional imagery. You've communicated the pain very well!
-
This is a sad piece. I like how you stepped out of the box and written about a different kind of frost bite. A frost bite of the heart.
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
