the sun sets
into a basketball hoop-
nothing but net
A contest entry
- March Madness Haiku by azure85.
600 points, ended April 1, 2008, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Is this a 3 pointer? LOL!
Comments
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Ok!!
I loved this poem of yours! Very nice and complete and made me laugh!!
Harmony
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Brilliant! Ahh! This is what a haiku should be!
Very Nice!!!!!
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I honestly like this one. Great juxtaposition and breathless quality for both the ball and sun.
Marlene
P. S. this one's my favorite -
Wonderful
Very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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thanks
Thanks for reading and for the wonderful applause. Much appreciated.
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*new
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I personally do not like this.
I guess it's because I am knew to Haikus. I recently studied them and I find some appealing and others like wise.
I dont know .... But I liked some of the others you did
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Honesty
Thank you very much for your honesty. i wish more would be like you...
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love this! i have an awesome pic that i took of a full moon that seems to have settled right in the basketball hoop. this reminds me of that. i enjoy reading your work.
blessings *stomps
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Pic
I'd love to see that pic! It sounds great!
Thanks for reading this haiku.
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I remember reading this by you the other day. I didn't have time to comment. When I came back on, I couldn't remember what poem or by whom it was written. lol
I was blown away by your original metaphor here. It's stellar.
- Aly
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Stellar
Oh my! Thank you very much, Janis. I'm glad it worked for you. -
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Do you have anymore haikus?
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more haiku
Not yet, Janis Aly, but i plan on writing more. hopefully over this weekend.
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Very beautiful; it's very similar, the sun and the basketball hoop, because the sun is like a basketball-orange and round. It shows alot and has potential.
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balls
Thanks you very much for your perceptive remarks.
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an amazingly smart haiku - with a perfect phrase/fragment break and a great aha-moment ... it's even more witty as the setting sun may indeed stand as a metaphor for the basketball which offers several dimensions of meaning through the introduction of the technique of ambiguity ...
excuse my technical jargon, I am training myself for my haiku-class with haikumonk ... and in reading another haijin's work, I will hopefully improve my technique ...
all the best,
maa
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Witty
Hello maa! I like your comments and appreciate the technical language you use to describe my humble haiku.
If your haiku are anything like your comments then I'm sure you write good haiku. I'll read some of them.
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Good illusion of the basketball setting like the sun as it falls freely through the net to its' goal. Good imagery!
Dennis
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Goal
Thank you Dennis - yes, it's nice how to say the sun scored a goal! I'm very pleased about your comments.
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This is really cool, the use of the sun as an image, and the AHA moment is great. Thank you so much!
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Aha
Thank you Azure! Glad the poem worked for you.
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