The temperature lowers
And clouds appear
And the little kids run in fear
To avoid the falling tears
The sky releases all it holds
And the secrets of the cloud unfold
The light comes down without warning
The boom is then added to the mold
The worst has passed
But the sky is still cast
The earth waits patiently
For she knows the next will come just as fast
Author notes
Jack22
A contest entry
- The Asshole's PIF: Good Poets Borrow, Great Poets STEAL! SERIOUS POETS ONLY by Avatar of Innocence.
1600 points, ended April 12, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want your BEST prewrites!! by perfectsunset.
1000 points, ended April 24, 2008, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Good poem. Thanks for entering & best of luck
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Hmm...Is it bad that I have nothing good to say about this poem except "revision is key"? Please, redo the imagery. Your last line is in need of repair, as it stands out obtrusively. I think in your author's notes this was an attempt at imitating Dickinson, right? Please correct me if I am mistaken.
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