Useless Stop

I would have  slept long hours
Stretched me now and then
I would have slowed down
Sat with some friend in summer breeze
Jumped on never lonely bus
Going To solitary beach to get drunk
I would have sometimes
Lost senses or kicked my imagination
I should have listened to all my songs
I should have bought my Bmw Bike
Ride on silk road burning gas and desires
I should have stoned me
Drunk for days or may be weeks
Jumped on that rusted bus to get no past
No future ,I should have got lost
Forever or for a while
Should have got into some B films
Painted faces on my face
I should have spent some days
Doing nothing or getting nowhere
I should have loved no one
And kicked respect out of everyone
I should have blamed all on others
Lied to my own shadow about my whereabouts
Believed in no god
And shed my tears only on rainy days
I should have left no rules and paid all excuses
To catch that cranky bus to boozing town
I should have slept sound full drunk on filthy streets
Got me some disease or busted lever
Or filthy sugar in blood creeping on pressure
I should given up everything for nothing
Boarded that bus to get me forever stoned
I should have borrowed and drank to
Zero up sums and pissed on all logic
Sold all my lands and my name
And everything that I could sell except my breathe
and my ride on cranky bus
drop dead my mind holding still that whisky on rocks
cool summer breeze and my emptiness filling in sands

But I slogged night and day
Never caught my breath
For where I could walk I ran
I worked till no life was left to work
I shed sweat and tears
I saved and eat on streets and doors
I never slept much
And worked through nights
when my will refused I knocked to pray god
I got my body worn and torn
My hair tangled and gone
I pushed too far everything
To earn nothing not money not smoke
Just that summer breeze scribbling on my mind
Real stuff in real time nothing fake or foil.

That rusty bus ride
I saw it going full with all of you inside
Not making that useless stop
Where I stood with my closed fist
Empty then and empty today

I should have got that crazy look
Boozed and busted
I would have not cared about me
Neither about you
But I never moved from where I stopped
Farmer hard toil
Inside  all my life fields
might seem to Useless stop
And useless end.
I am smiling on my fate.