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winsor manor II

he sat on a white mesh lining, between death
and a flat-topped wooden stool;
too full of years to cleave an old body-


and there was no wind rustling his door,
no stench of coal fire decking sky
nor, the cold drift of night breeze
cascading like gossip down untaught tongues

no...


silence was the heart pound of kete drums
long after the rhythm had fallen to
soul searched meanings;

and he,
found no epiphanies
to hallow hope,
no hand in the frail touch of darkness.

so...
he kissed poor Rusty awake,
palmed the mongrel's snout
and held it to his face-
much like a man would his lover at the last,
then sighed until his lungs were dry.


there was no clamour in the set of night
no  flutter on the lamp shade as he went-

the wood silvered,
the rope hung loose
and time... time
continued

     ~



 

Author notes

first write in quite a while this.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Keith Drew gold member
    October 8

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    I still say that you are the best writer I have ever read, and why you even ponder upon my words is a riddle I will never unravel.
    A. J. I thank God that you exist, for your words are true poetry.

  • Keith Drew gold member
    November 30, 2008
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    Your writing amazes me A J. You tapestry the words in such a way of deep awareness within you. You see things others do not in the simplest setting.
    It is time for you to write that book you have been promising yourself.
    One day you are going to be famous.
    All the best to you.
    Keith.

  • Trew
    September 10, 2008
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    and time... time continued
    exceptional


  • LiMarie silver member
    August 25, 2008

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    So meloncholy and gripping.I love the line "then sighed until his lungs were dry", that's achingly beautiful..and the last line is wonderful, a particular obsession of mine, the march of time. Beautiful write.


  • Princess Perdue gold member
    April 11, 2008
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    How long before we see your name in lights, your talent properly recognised...published and hung out for all to read...one day...one day soon my friend the world will be your oyster and the pearl will sit neatly in palm. Such talent!. I'm so very proud of who you are.

    Shaz xx


  • Allyce May gold member
    March 26, 2008

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    CRIKEY! This is so poignant, terribly sad. I particularly loved the third last verse, how you described that single moment. The poem is a journey of sorts, a story with an ending of finality.

    Just had to read it again! This opens ones eyes and reminds me that we should not be so metaphorically blind, one simple act of kindness can do so much. Argh, I just want to reach out to the subject; heart-wrenching.

    Thank you for sharing


  • Naridill gold member
    March 24, 2008
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    Lamenting imagery - every moment within this reads a moment, a memory not just a word - a poem. Like a script to motion - the reflections shine through poetic passion. I felt the realism, the honesty. Beautiful phrasing through out. Emotions breed beauty - this piece finds sanctuary in hope.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    March 23, 2008

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    Exquisite writing. You are filled with the talent of the written word. I was completely captured in this image and held captive until the very end.
    What a joy to read this beauty. Wonderful wonderful work. ~Pamela


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    March 23, 2008

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    I see my friend Lane rates your work, and I am not surprised. I particularly like the lines:

    "the cold drift of night breeze
    cascading like gossip down untaught tongues"

    I'm surprised this one didn't attract a trophy.


  • PerfectImperfection
    March 19, 2008
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    This is indeed such an impressive piece of penning. Your writing has become quite skilled; I truly admire the gift that you have, and thank you for sharing it with all of us - it IS a blessing.

    The imagery here is absolutely chilling... So powerful, and written with such a divine understanding. Wow. I loved this honey - AWESOME poem!!!!


  • Dalaney gold member
    March 19, 2008

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    You are one of the most talented writers on this site. I am in awe of your talent, my friend, and pray that you will always follow the path of a pen. Incredible. Love, Lane


  • Myjoy gold member
    March 18, 2008

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    Very lovely......this is just a wonderful little read AJ...I loved it from beginning to end. You use your words well, and paint lovely pictures. Well done.


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    March 18, 2008
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    Excellent!

    I thoroughly enjoyed the reading of this. You captured not only the emotion here but an overall mood that draws your reader into your thoughts and the imagery allows the reader to be a part of the scene your words have painted. Well done and good luck in the contest, I hope you do well. Thanks for sharing. Laura x

1 - 13 of 13