I can't see you,
The restraining distance,
Weighted and binding,
Like a frigid stone.
Dragging the links
Of the chains way down.
I see my hands instead
Small but strong,
Trembling in eagerness
To strangle the neck,
Of injustice gleefully
Striking your life.
Like a head on collision,
Distorting lies of others,
Penetrating hurt.
Like a strangling weed,
Of abuse full of hate.
Pounding you further down,
Into the concrete of disregard.
Yet, still I know of your hope,
In promise quenching.
Like the watering rain,
Humbleness surrounding,
You like a luminous light.
Tears cover my eyes,
In an admiring shine.
At your trusting heart
In God.
All I can do in plenitude,
And swelling fullness of heart,
Is to fold my hands.
Praying that you may,
Prevail in strength.
Welded in Jesus.
Author notes
I wrote this poem for my mom. For so many years now she has been strong even when things have been hard, even though she gets lonely, I am in humble admiration and proud of the way she has grown in her relationship with God, the way she stands by my dad and believes in him no matter what other people put them through. I have definitely seen her become a beautiful person in God, and even though things are still hard, she has remained faithful to God.
A contest entry
- Hit me with EVERYTHING. PW OK! by z etoile.
375 points, ended March 28, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open Door by SurelyWritten.
303 points, ended March 28, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Image inspiration by Burning-phoenix.
300 points, ended April 18, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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so powerful!
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I was pleased to get your notes, now I can say this is a wonderful tribute to your mother, it is heartfelt and shows your love and the pride and empathy you hold for her, .
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I like this ... It tells alot.. and keep praying for your mother .. and writing for her to.. its great.. and good therapy.. Thats what I do.. to let my emotions out.. and plus I get great Poetry that way..
If you don't mind I would like to share a poem with you... That is called ... A New Person Within.. it is a Christian Poem.. I write alot of christian poems.. but go ahead and look it up.. its in my files ... and tell me what you think..
Your friend in Poetry... JackReed3...
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A great message and you mum obviously means a lot to you. Imaginative imagery and a heartfelt message. Thank you
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Well done,your poem has a powerful message, it's a bit long though, so mabe use punctuation it will make the reading and expression of emotions better.
Good luck in the compitition -
Lovely words to write for your mom. Sentiments well expressed in these lines - easy to read and understand.
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9pts...
Thank you for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
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This is such a beautiful tribute poem
I was really blown away by the imagery that you used here, it was very well created! Wonderfully written, I'm glad that you chose to share this with us
Keep writing
Polly -
This is really beautiful. Your imagery is quite stunning and metaphorical. I like the idea of being "welded" into Jesus. I am not a religious person but I still found this to be enjoyable. My only suggestion would be to add some punctuation to better the flow of your words.
Thank you for sharing this with the group.
animated
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Wow!Such a heartfelt dedication! She sure must be a strong one. I love the way it ends.
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A great poem for your mother and I am sure she will like it not wait LOVE it.
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The first two stanzas flow really well, and then the style changes a little. The inconsistency makes the flow a little bumpier, but the poem is very well penned other than that. Several strong images were used, lots of good phrasing, structure (between the two different styles) is consistent, and the grammar (sentence structure, obviously not punctuation) is well done as well.
A beautiful poem, not usually my style, although I will try not to let that affect my judging-
I am asking that everyone in the contest send me a message or respond to my comment telling my why they chose the particular poem they entered, for my contest. Only contestants that do this will be eligible for winning when it comes time for judging.
Thanks for entering,
Shirley
(A more critical review may follow during judging, but no applauses will be given to any entry, even the ones that deserve them.) -
Awe what a wonderful poem for your mom!
And it seems you have a very faithful mom who can pull herself through anythi -
This is a lovely tribute to your mom, the power of prayer is within all of us, it is so nice to read that it prevails in this way.
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It sounds like your mother is a strong woman. It isn;t easy dealing with challenges especially since so many are thrown at you at one time.
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This is lovely. Kudos.
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