A Desperate Man
Hidden there amongst the chit chat
Of the regional news.
Tucked quietly between;
Celebs and famine.
A desperate man’s voice struggled to be heard.
To avoid a fate
He’d smashed his head
Against the wall,
Now with a broken neck.
He’s in a coma
A different future to face.
Did he know what he was doing?
Was he so haunted
By imagined horror?
A torture to be stamped out
By hard, unyielding, cold cement.
Or did he want
Death?
In the cosy warmth of the local pub
I saw that holding cell;
That desperate moment;
When all hope seemed lost.
But I do not understand.
Nine months have gone by since the day
My brother broke his neck.
And I can’t help thinking that
If that man had seen with us
The struggle
Back to life.
He would have found
Another way.
Author notes
This isn't a poem It's a train of thoughts if anyone has any suggestions on how to make it a poem I'd love to hear them
Comments
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hoodwinked
A train of thought could be a poem too. Not all poems have to rhyme. It is just another form of poetry. I would leave it the way it is. -
Hoodwinked!!!
I think that this piece is a very well done freeverse poem. Your words are powerful and very well chosen. Your honesty and openness comes out through the poem and your thoughts go right along with them. Great piece dear poet keep it up.
Always write from the heart
Never give up
Kate
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It was a lovely suprise to be hood winked and I have enjoyed reading the comments. I have just started a new job and have not been feeling poetic lately but I promise I will put more time into my poetry and reading others on the site when I get more settled.
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Hoodwinked!
You may think it's just thoguhts but to others it may seem like a poem all in itself. Not every poem has a form or rhyme.
This was well thought you, and you certainly put what seems like time into it. Well done. Keep penning, fellow poet.
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Hood-Winked!
I really like this as a free-verse poem - I think it works perfectly and doesn't constrain your thoughts to a form - I love the simple emotion and honesty in this piece you have done a wonderful job here!
Keep writing
Polly
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ouch
I think it's a very good start as a free form poem.
It is brave of you to put all that down in lines.
I'll get back to you on it.
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