I had an uneasy feeling as I arrived here in this place
I could see I had a body but I could not see my face.
I don't know what this feeling is, perhaps I'm a little scared
Being here this naked I feel so unprepared.
I arrived here all alone and it seems like it's a trial
There is another feeling,that I could be here for a while.
It is empty, yet it's crowded as there are "others" here
What I am supposed to do,is not yet very clear.
So...
I will follow the crowd and see where they lead
I will mimic their behaviour and eat as they feed
I will learn what they know and grow tall on my feet
I will adopt all their ism's for each "OTHER" I meet
I will say what they say and give up my voice
I will do what they do and give up my choice
I will take all their beatings and learn how to bleed
I will take what I want and forget what I need
And when I have become them so i don't feel alone
I will feel like a wretch,right down to the bone
I will beat on those "OTHERS" and beat on myself
I will use strange concoctions that will take away my health
And "I am doing fine" is what I will say
By then it will be too late,to have found a better way
And this will be DESPAIR to have realised this too late
To realise ,I have not learned of love but only learned of hate.
So...
Was this the uneasy feeling I had on my arrival day?
Was it fear or loathing that made me NOT want to stay?
I mentioned I could not see it but now it is staring in that face
I had arrived here on the starting line of this,the human race.
A contest entry
- Dark, Sad, Love, Loss, Suprise Me. by MrsJones.
350 points, ended March 21, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness Rising by Redrusty66.
625 points, ended April 9, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life is a game! Get it?....No you don't. Just Come Look. by Ishtar.
600 points, ended April 21, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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A lovely write.
It takes a different sort of imagination, I think, to be able to put yourself in place of a newborn child and just for a second think of what they might be feeling/thinking, etc.
Thanks for the entry.
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Fantastic write. The flow was spot on and the scheme was exucuted with artistic mastery. I loved the wordplay and vocbulary with I believe this to be my favorite line. "I will mimic their behaviour and eat as they feed"...just an awesome line. Certainly an excellent piece of work. Thanks for the great read.
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Excellent poem. Sometimes following the crowd isn't the best place to be...but it doesn't always matter how we arrive at the starting line of feeling human again...just so long as we find the line and start
Best to you in the contest...loved this poem~ ~Blessings always~ Trisha
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This is so very true! Strong words used to express the feeling of losing oneself to keep on the right side of 'others'... it's a rat race indeed, and those who tow the line are the ones who feel they fit in... yet lose part of themselves in the process.
I say, be unique and be yourself. Love this write!
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Great poem and gave such a bleak outlook on humanity as a whole and I have to say it's not far from the truth. I'm studying psychology right now so I can definitly see some of these same patterns in human behavior. Thank you for entering!
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Powerful
That was deep. Very powerfully-written this one. And yes, we all join the human race and suck up those conditions that we are not born with, BUT LEARN TO GET.
Powerful writing indeed.
Well done my friend
Keep writing.
Wayne Leon
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NUFF' SAID.
written quick. typed in slow.glad it is done.
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