Saved by the Past or rather the bell,
how are you? how am I? I am fine, rather well.
Think I do, with too much time,
and none of it, is actually mine
but based on then, and here and now,
and the little things and such but how
I have grown since then.
Fake.
I sigh, shake my head, over popular debate
and my own intervention a little too late,
oh the stupid fool of ourselves we make.
How much crap can one person take?
The seeds of an overflowing weed patch rake,
to cultivate something...to get called fake.
Now is it time to stand in the way,
then disregard things that others may say?
Saved by your past? or your present will it be?
confide in you? will you confide in me?
Never forget the pain and unjust
but one thing I know, and you can and must
I am Not that thing of way back when,
who hurt out of frustration, time and again.
You may be that girl I can strongly remember
but will you continue as Dubbed the "Pretender"?
Promises?
Remember my promises, never to dust?
something, if only, you ever could trust.
A keyfob bought and turned to rust,
but my promises remain still just.
Put your faith and trust in me
as this is now what I'll ever be.
A contest entry
- Your Best Prewrite by Not-The-Sun.
850 points, ended August 8, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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very good and intriguing. I loved the lines between "Saved by your past? or your present will it be?" and "who hurt out of frustration, time and again." They made me think a lot about my own life and relationships. The ending is very strong and I liked the one worded lines, too. my least favorite part is "Think I do, with too much time,
and none of it, is actually mine". I don't feel like it fits very well, but that's just me.
the ending is sad and yet sincere, showing your feelings and how much you want to be trusted by someone you have grown to care for.
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Bravo!
Great use of one of your songs lines, it fit in rather well there...
I liked the use of the one word stanzas, it works well to ancor the previous and help the poem flow onto the next stanza...
Nice work
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Excellent
This is an excellent poem Shell, I really enjoyed reading this one. I feel from the way it is worded, I know who this is about (and if it isn't, then it is 100% the other person i'm thinking it is!)
It's a very interesting structure, and not so commonplace in most other poems I have read. You are certainly tied for 1st place as my favourite poet =]Good write, keep them coming!
Davie
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