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Completion

On fresh knobby knees
The fawn takes its first spring steps
In the new forest-

The tiny deer's rising stride
Completes the circle of life.

Author notes

This is a great form of poetry that flows from my thoughts, though the picture I see is greater, I have summed it all up beautifully in such short verse.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • InBetweenThoughts
    April 12, 2008

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    Thank you for your entry...my apologies for the delays in judging..best wishes, Ken IBT


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    March 26, 2008
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    Beautiful

    Oh my gosh this is an extremely well penned poem here my sweet friend. I really love your rhythm depth & picturesque imagination that sparks us all after we read this. any ways its amazing how some poetry can just knock you off your heels & just really blow our minds! any ways excellent write with so few of words and keep up the very nice work

  • InBetweenThoughts
    March 21, 2008
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    Thank you for your wonderful Tanka. Great imagery, form and counts..you may want to look over L3 as I believe Forrest is spelled Forest Best wishes , Ken IBT


  • jasminerose
    March 19, 2008

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    Awww this is such a sweet tanka of life and all the splendor it brings! Wonderful imagery!!
    I wish you all the best in the contest!!
    Linda


  • Harrisham Minhas
    March 18, 2008

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    This is very sweet.
    A wonderful write with vivid imagery.

  • Bad Bill
    March 18, 2008

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    A lovely tanka. Just one quibble--"naive" has two syllables, thus there are six syllables in your third line instead of five. It doesn't detract, however, from the beauty of the poem and, in fact, "naive" is the right choice of word, because of its connotation of innocence. I really like this poem.

    Bill


  • Tarja
    March 17, 2008

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    Very lovely haiku. Generally not a fan, but this was wonderful. You did so much for having such a limit. Well done and good luck.

1 - 10 of 10