Every time you look deep into my eyes
Please tell me what you may see in my face
The childhood friend, birthdays, school, and high fives?
Or maybe a candidate for Love's race
I wish so much that I could love you less
Because you only have a heart for her
My emotions are a chaotic mess
I want you to be mine so I can be sure
The seas would never hold the tears I've cried
The earth itself could never bury this
To say I might give up is such a lie
How can I deny my heart's truest joy?
How can I unlove this amazing boy?
Author notes
"He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..."-Teardrops on my Guitar, Taylor Swift
A contest entry
- Music or book inspired contest by Leech Lover.
300 points, ended April 6, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotional! by Glass Heart.
525 points, ended April 1, 2008, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - forbidden love. by forgot2b3forgotten.
500 points, ended April 19, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lyrical Inspiration by Carpe Noctem.
300 points, ended April 12, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Turned Bitter by MrsJones.
450 points, ended May 9, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Goodbye My Lover by steal-my-scene.
600 points, ended May 23, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Hope you enjoyed my insanity :)
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This is a sweet, meaningful write. I really enjoyed the fact that you could make it so simple yet filled with emotion. I especially like the last two lines. Good luck.
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Thank you so much. It's the only sonnet I've ever written, but I'd really like to do more when I get over this fever I've been dealing with this last week. Glad you enjoyed it
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Great write, thanks for entering!
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I love this poem! I love sonnets all the time, but you only have 13 lines in this sonnet. Your missing your 12th line. Nice job other than that!
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very nice, well written sonnet!
good luck in the contest, but not too much since i'm also entered... lol...
mike, aka jonathan wikkins
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LOL. Thanks Good luck to you as well!
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I do like this poem. I like the line "My emotions are a chaotic mess" though I feel as if you use more puncuation it would be better. Though that is your choice. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Beautifuldisasterxx -
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I've never written a sonnet before, so I'm still playing around a little with my rhythm and flow. Thanks for the constructive criticism!
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very interesting.. i like it
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aww this is cute and sweet yet thoughtful and expressive...nicely done! -Gore
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Really beautiful. I completely sympathise and relate in a way. Amazing
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Beautifully written. I can relate. Well done.
Emma
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Very strong and sad. This really hits home for me because I'm going through something similar. Thank you and good luck. Congratulations, you are on the finalists list.
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Thank you so much for the gold!! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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this is very good i love it and i love the song great job
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Yeah after I entered the contest I listened to it I love it too now
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