Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

comfortably Numb

My soul has been swallowed
My body hollowed
Nothing left but a shell
There's nothing left as far as I can tell

Here I am, Gods creation
Can't live past the frustration
Look me in the eyes
When you spit your deceitful lies

Together we will fall apart
I can't mend this broken heart
I fear what I have become
So alone, comfortably  numb

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    WOW. this was awesome! I loved your rhyme scheme and rhythm this piece had. WELL DONE! this was absolutely amazing. I loved it! WOW! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • Antebellum
    June 25
    Edit | Reply
    Like the rhyme you have going here.

    thanks for taking the time to enter my contest
    good luck


  • indomitable
    July 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is short, but very to the point. i cant say i particularly like the rhyming, but its not awful, and in any case, the poem is well written. i especially liked the lines:

    Look me in the eyes
    When you spit your deceitful lies

    and the end, where you mention that you both fall apart. all in all, this was quite poignant and beautiful.


  • Blooming Poet
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i can not imagine being numb and comfortable, personally speaking, so that got mee thinking. The rhyme is very good throughout the poem, it's hard to rhyme well, but you did pretty good here.


  • tehzeeb
    May 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow you have been though alot of pain and suffering that led to despireation. Quite heartfelt


  • Wearychild
    May 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can definitely relate to this poem, it sucks to be numb, I think its a little scary actually. Great poem!


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry which speaks volumes of the hurt, pain and frustrations that come with depression, getting over a broken heart in particular is the hardest thing to do, may your heart heal, Josie

  • piccola silver member
    May 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So alone, comfortably numb what a sad feeling and your phrase lets the reader feel this pain. Nice job and thank you for entering.


  • Danneh
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Don't know if you meant to, but I love that song by Pink Floyd. The absolution we as humans find in our numbness can be terrifying. Great write, and good luck in the contest..

    -Danneh<3


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This makes me feel sad... I really can relate to this sadness/helplessness myself, so you know you are not alone and you wont be left alone, always here if you need someone to talk to.


  • sanity
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    very good

    this is very good... i have been here all too often, comfortably numb fits... thats just how u get it makes u feel comfortable with everything wen u can't feel or don't want to.... nice one Linda xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

1 - 12 of 12