Ironic isn’t it,
How I beg you to look my way.
But when you finally do,
I hastily look away.
I spent close to a year,
Just trying to get you attention.
Lent a shoulder and an ear,
Trying to gain your affection.
My best friend,
My secret desire.
I would have tried till the end,
For inside it burned like fire.
Everyone knew,
And you did too I'm sure.
For you're one in a few,
Who could shake me to the core.
I was blind to your efforts,
Though you tried to let me know.
Inside i was so hurt,
In the night my tears would flow.
You were all I ever wanted,
And I needed you to love me.
Still when you told me I bolted,
I was to afraid to believe.
Yet you kept trying,
And in the end my heart did give.
I fell into your arms so loving,
And finally began to live.
Author notes
option 1- 8
ironic isn’t it
how I beg you to look my way
but when you finally do
I hastily look away
This poem is about my boyfriend yet again lol... it's about how I wanted him for so long and felt he didn't even notice me.... until he finally mirrored my feelings and I turned away from him.... we are together now after a long struggle and happier then ever.
In a list
A contest entry
- promt by Page Deleted.
600 points, ended April 2, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what you think?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Aww... I really love how it's all sad then you spring the happy ending on the reader. Very good!
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I liked the helplessness in this piece. It was like Alicia Keys song "You Dont Know My Name" it was so cute. Loved it,
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this is a great piece!!!
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awww! a happy ending!!! yay you!! this is a very honest poem and i love the emotion in it. nice write!
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Heart Felt
I don't care what anyone else says because to me this was a very heart felt poem as you point out that for so long you were suffering and looking for that right someone and then he came along and you showed him how you felt but he did not clue in till it was when you needed someone most and now you are happy
any ways a truly wonderful poem that was very heart felt and just made me smile while I was half asleep LOL! keep up the good work and take care.
Paul =)
OoOoO Good Luck with the contest
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wow....very good poem....sounds like you're happy, which is a very good thing
great poem
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i love this poem it really speaks to me and i believe it will speak to others also i love the pattern of rhyming
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Alright
I found this to be un peau whiny and reminiscent of love poems I wrote in my 7th grade journal. Your prose were well rhymed, with the exception of your pattern thrown off by a few lines, if you were following a pattern at all. -
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oh and how the hell is it whiney it's the story of me and my boyfriend who are happily together did you even read it at all
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well thanks for the words of encouragement hunny...
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TEARS ARE FLOWING
Totally and currently relatable... I am still at the part, tho, where i would still be fighting for the person...
ALL IN ALL GREAT WORK AND TEAR JERKER -
amazing
this poem is so amazing! i can completely relate. this is how it was for my last relationship. very nice portrayal. this is true poetry :] keep it up -
At least you had a happy ending. i am still trying to find my happy ending. I am glad things worked out for you.
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i really like how this "felt"
uh if you can follow that
i like the flow and the way it sounds and just "rolls off the tounge"
great write
good luck in the final judging
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