WHEN YOU’RE FIRED, YOU’RE FIRED [the Donald Trump way]
You ever have to give someone in your life a pink slip…telling him or her your presence in my life is no longer needed or required. If you’ve had this problem trust me when I say you are not alone. I’ve served several people their walking papers over the course of a month. I just can’t seem to get some of them to catch the hint to stop trying to pop back up. So this blog today servers just that purpose. Telling people who’ve been laid off in a friendship or relationship to "STOP SHOWING UP FOR WORK."
You maybe confused as to why I say "Stop showing up for work," well let me explain, a lot of times a friendship or relationship are kind of like having a job. When a person fails to comply or to show up, you must terminate them. You can’t just have people whose productivity in their life, let alone in yours has or have decreased. You are the company that you keep. Let’s break that down for you. [All though I am aware some of you get the metaphor or comparison to using work as the "car" of my little blog here, others don’t and that’s okay, that’s why we break it down like a fraction].
The saying is true: you truly are the company that you keep. If you surround yourself with negative people, guess what, their negative energy feeds off of your positive vibe, but there is more negative then positive so…. In math what does this tell us? You’re going to get a negative {other words what use to be a positive person, now has become a negative}. In science terms the transfer of emotions from one to another can cause a change in mood(s) of a person(s) in a room, full of happy or sad people.
Here is a better example for my visual people. Imagine that you’re friends with 4 different people who don’t have jobs. Those individuals not to include yourself well let’s say for the sake of this example you don’t have a job either. Your siting at home chatting it up, they’ve got an alternative income whether it is social security, or child support, or straight "street-smarts" You, don’t have anything [okay, maybe the few handouts your parents may give you, or boyfriend/girlfriend]. Now before you met these people you were on your grind looking for a job, then you became lazy or slowed down, since meeting those people…Can you tell me why? [Don’t worry I’ll wait, no seriously I won’t but that’s not the point now is it] you do this because your drive is gone, or slowly fading… You fear your going to miss out on the newest things, the latest gossip, that your "new" friends or hell sometimes the "Old" ones won’t understand why you haven’t been hanging like you use to, if you got that job.
There is power in knowledge, so know this. If someone is truly a friend no matter what you’re doing in your life, they will always empower you to strive for more, strive or desire better in your life. Kind of like Bank of America slogans "Bank of Opportunity; Bank of Higher Standard" If you require more of yourself, and those around you. You will find that others will look up to you because your "light" does actually shine. For example, I have a friend let’s call her Ms. Focused, she is 21 years old, and began college same years as some people I know, and yet she toughed it out at a community college first graduating and receiving her Associates Degree. She’s moved on to bigger and better things at the University of Texas in Arlington. Her goal is to become a Neonate-nurse. She soon became my inspiration to do something with my life, and make things happen. See we tend to forget that good fortune is not going to just fall in our lap, but that we’ve got to actually go out there an make it happen. As once told to me, when I was a youngster "there are no miracles in the bible that didn’t first start off with someone first seeking God." Truest statement indeed think of the lame man who couldn’t walk, or the blind man who couldn’t see of the harlot whose blood was not clean. They all called upon Jesus and thus became whole {pure}. Let’s get back on track here. When one looses him or herself in other people’s happiness or trying to make others happy despite yourself, you’ve truly lost the purpose our founding fathers meant in the constitution when they said "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." As a person who owes you nothing, I can be brutally honest with you. STOP TRYING TO BE A CROWD PLEASER. JUST STOP! Stop wearing rose colored glasses that have you alluded thinking certain people are your friends. People make the mistake that every person that they come in contact with has got to be long-term friends…. Bull fucken shit. People can be in your life as long as you want them to be, or as long as they allow you to keep them in your life. For me, I have a person who I thought was like a sister to me, noticed I used a strong emotional bond, such as sister. This person I later found out talked about me behind my back because I sometimes would say I would come over, but something got in the way, and I wouldn’t be able to make it! But the very time she really needed me I was there! An yet, I’ve asked this person to be there for me, go to church with me, help me with certain things, and she gave me excuse after excuse after excuse. And the excuses that she gave didn’t ever really make sense but I allowed them to be said to me instead of telling her to shut the fuck up because your lying. So many times, I just wanted to say bitch I know your trying to use me too, you just found a little cleaver way to do it. Now I wasn’t mad when the person told me about this, I just took it with a grain of salt. But when the person called me after disappearing for a couple months, I looked at the found as if this bitch had a lot of nerve to just call me. I hadn’t realized, I’d never comforted her. I just simply figured she gave herself her own walking papers out of my life. So many times, no one knows they’ve hurt us, unless we say something, and then there are those individuals who know they have and don’t give a fuck.
Unfortunately we’ve all got people in our life like that. Expel them…Get rid of them, they don’t want to do anything but to bring you down so it can make them feel better. For example: I’ve got a friend whose been battling with this guy for awhile. He’s got a myspace page, and he’s been caring on this relationship with a person that is alleged to mean nothing, but obviously that’s a lie. Hell I’ve read his page and can tell she means a lot more then he leads on to her. Now granted she probably cared about him at one point, like most women do about a guy that tells them sweet nothings. But how do you swallow that pill the person you once cared about, might have actually used you. Or mislead you. Its almost like your heart got played with, and yet they don’t see it… They see it as not harm, no foul. But is it really true now is it? Why can’t they just consider my feelings you say to yourself. You find yourself crying at night, not trying to figure out what you did wrong, but why this person had to play his cards the way he did. That’s just like a friend (well a suppose to be friend). Why can’t they be there for you the way they want you to be there for them. They constantly want to have their cake and eat it too. But dare you try that! You’re selfish, you’re a bitch, and you’re unreliable. You become everything but a child of God. That can hurt any bodies feelings when you care for someone.
Why is it that people want more from you then they themselves are willing to give. In a relationship a guy wants the world from you. He wants you to cook dinner, clean, have a job, help pay bills, kick it with the fellas, and cater to the kids. Damn you almost have to be superwoman but when you ask that sorry piece of shit to be superman that nigga does a Houdini act and disappears. Then you have those friends (and) relationships that do just enough to keep you quiet until the next big thing pops up. You start adding the score up in your head (and please don’t act like you don’t keep score, especially when you feel unappreciated) You make a fuss, and if your rant goes unheard you keep it to yourself. Then you begin saying, "Man, if they need me I ain’t goin even be there for them. Cause man they ain’t ever there for me." Tell me this, why hold on to that?
I’m going to let you in on a little secret that I learned. Most times people who hold onto a person or persons that aren’t good for them in their life. Is because typically you have low self-esteem, or have a fear of being alone/abandoned. You rather "pay the piper" then to run the risk of being alone or without friends or love. Here is a question though. Who loves you more than you do? The answer should be no one unless his or her name is Jesus. Because other than you, God loves you more, and everyone else only loves you a portion. Shakespeare said, "To Thine own self be true" Get a grips on actuality and reality because the fake, fairy tales worlds you read about in Disney books, and Dr. Sues don’t exists. I mean maybe if your Michael Jackson who believes in honoring "Never, Never land" (Peter Pan)
This is 2008, it is time for a change. Know that the light can’t live with the darkness. You can’t change people, people have to want to change for the betterment of themselves. If they don’t that’s fine. Shake the dust off your feet and keep on stepping. I know some maybe saying well Stephanie that’s a lot easier said then done. That’s a true statement. It doesn’t happen over night. Its hard to stop talking to someone you found yourself talking to every day or 3times in the week. I mean it’s hard to change a habit, but notice I didn’t say impossible. Because everything that you have faith in doing is possible, you just got to believe it, and see it through. That’s sort of like me. I had a boyfriend I’d break up get back together, break up get back together. And I allowed him to block good men from getting into my life, because I was so hell bent on trying to keep him. I mean it made me sick almost to notice I was trying to keep something that didn’t do me good. And I just hated that I knew why I went back to him. I felt guilty. Guilt for leaving him when he was sick, or when things were going wrong in his life, and I’d just abandon ship. I was tired of being there for him. I was tired of him telling me to "Understand my (his) problems," and "You have to put Stephanie aside sometime and think of others," and in my head y’all just didn’t know I’d be thinking, that’s all I ever do. I always understand, I always put Stephanie on the back burner. Then it dawned on me…WHY? He doesn’t put himself on the back burner for me. So fuck him. And Stephanie regained Stephanie. Now he tries to make a come back! I stand firm, lock my heart and say NO, you hurt me once, I’m not leaving room for hurt a second time.
*Didnt finish....again...but its almost there.
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