friends

spinning counter clockwise
watching the blurs of people I used to know
clashing colors and screeching laughter
they don't care about being friends anymore
side comments and every now and then a half smile in passing
nothing more
but tons more less
Dizzy and uncontrolled
I am resentful for their coldness
its haunting--
here my old friends stand casually
with their new friends,
people they once confessed to hating
and there I stand watching the decaying
happiness that I once shared
sure there was change in all of us
but not so much that we could never be friends
that they would be so against talking to me
lately, I care more about the people I have lost
than the people I have now

I reach out my hand, waiting for some sort of offer
and the moments I remember, they were so much kinder
they would noticed any change in expression
and while I am still circling about in reverse
those figures I used to know
wander away with ex enemies
no laughter really,
no sorry, or goodbye
those old friends don't even realize
that I can't stand how they left
that everything is burning up around me
and I feel like it never mattered to them
like the memories we shared
were nothing but memories
pushed aside with the moment they were born
and the time they got the gift they never wanted

I hate to stop moving,
and detach the stress that has build up over my chest
I can't confess what is on my mind
I can't stop moving...
I am too accustomed to the shut up and lie motion
signals over my eyes
spinning counter clockwise
sobbing hello, and they forget goodbye