When snow, like sheep, lay in the fold
With touch of cold on Autumn night,
The moon’s soft glow casts vigil light
Gives way to stars that vastly roll
Bright paths across the universe.
When thoughts, like dreams, take wing to fly
And soft chords ply for heart’s embrace,
A Summer scene finds rightful place
Within the mind - God’s breath and sigh
Trace paths across the universe.
When love, like life, reclines to rest
Someone is left with rights to care -
And just like death the soul’s still there
Arousing truth ~ just one more test
Rare paths across the universe ...
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Author notes
I will honestly say that I did not read the poem before I worked my poem but was absolutely amazed to see the similarities of thought when I referenced Geoffrey Hill's poem.
#16. When snow like sheep lay in the fold
In Memory of Jane Fraser
by Geoffrey Hill
When snow like sheep lay in the fold
And winds went begging at each door,
And the far hills were blue with cold,
And a cold shroud lay on the moor,
She kept the siege. And every day
We watched her brooding over death
Like a strong bird above its prey.
The room filled with the kettle’s breath.
Damp curtains glued against the pane
Sealed time away. Her body froze
As if to freeze us all, and chain
Creation to a stunned repose.
She died before the world could stir.
In March the ice unloosed the brook
And water ruffled the sun’s hair.
Dead cones upon the alder shook.
Geoffrey Hill, “In Memory of Jane Fraser” from New and Collected Poems, 1952-1992. Copyright © 1994 by Geoffrey Hill. Used with the permission of Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
Source: New and Collected Poems, 1952-1992 (1994).
A contest entry
- Index of First Lines by Keith.
525 points, ended March 29, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thank You for leaving a comment about this poem ...
Comments
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Simply amazing my dear. Honestly, your poetry does more than touch my heart. It surrounds, embraces and immerses it in love. Wonderful stuff!! You should garner gold with this one.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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A finely-worded and intelligent response to the first-line prompt and a definite pleasure to read.
Bill
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Excellent. And thank you for saving me the trouble of providing a link to the poem from which the first line is taken. I like Geoffrey Hill's poems very much, and it's good that he's still with us. So many of the poets in the anthology have gone to the great Parnassus in the sky.
An interesting thing about your poem is that it is in the present tense. I know that lay is used that way in America and Canada, and although it's gone out of use in Britain (we would say lie) it's still present in:
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
Thanks for your entry. I like it a lot.
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