Cold, silent metal
Scraping, like a doctors instrument.
Searing pain lashing throughout
With each and every harsh jolt.
No idea if the gun is loaded
Or if he has another way to kill you.
It's a Russian Roulette Rape,
But this time it's all or none.
Author notes
The "all or none" is the bullets, mmmk?
Contest. Prompt: Fear.
A contest entry
- For Women Only by Dalaney.
600 points, ended March 17, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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great write hun x
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good dark imagery here flowing smoothly along in the name of love - a breath before the trigger is pulled.
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Somehow I think you may have gotten this wrong. It's nothing to do with love, nothing at all.
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Crikey!
Whoa chilling! Where on earth did this come from? The first two sentences are a brilliant introduction, though I had different images in my head of what they meant. I should've known from title it was about a gun but it didn't click until I read the word 'gun'! Probably a bit slow today.
The ending's brilliant because it leaves the reader with the thought that the unseen and unamed protagonist is going to die no matter what so the thoughts linger on.
Peace Georgia
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A fine showing
This poem is on a razors edge and makes a very deep impact with me. I cannot constructively criticize it in any way, as it is above my level of ability. I bow to your expertise...
BTW, good luck!
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very frightening...and perfect for this contest. I like how you took the prompt outside the box. thank you so much for entering. love, lane
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Ummm.. Wow. I don't know what to say. I really don't. But the name is ingenious, Your my scruffles, forever!
Love you and good luck darling.
Claire-Anne -
wow sweety
luffles u good luck -
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Thanks hun!
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