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storms

 

All she wanted was to fit in
But was rejected because she wasn't quite thin
Another storm to tackle
Sits in the back of class
Wears long sleeves, even in summer
No one cares she's a cutter
No one cares that no one loves her
Another storm to tackle


Best friends, or so they say
Hang out all the time, and they like it that way
One's skin tone displays she's black
The other one, who bears it white
Her parents can't deal with that
Another storm to tackle
Life has dealt him cards
He loses every time
Doing good or doing bad- he seems to lose his mind
Wanting to make friends with a 9mm with one bullet left
Another storm to tackle


She talks to the mirror more than she does God
The church she knows doesn't know her
If they only knew
Her days and nights were spent
With her finger down her throat
Dying to be beautiful
Another storm to tackle
Brother and sister, curled into a ball
The heating bill wasn't paid
So each other is all they've got
Another storm to tackle


Daddy wants her to shut up
Mommy thinks the same
They tell her she was an accident
And treat her as if she were to blame
Black and blue, with emotional scars
Another storm to tackle
The kids can't stop crying
But their stomachs won't stop aching
'Cause Mommy has no money to go buy food
Daddy took their money and left with his new girlfriend
Another storm to tackle


And even though it's hard
To praise You in this storm
Let us not be blinded from the truth
That we are there for each other and You for us
And help us, Lord
When there's another storm to tackle

 

Author notes

1. I've been on AP since March 11
2. Lowercase Prelude
3. 20
4. Daily, usually more than once a day

This is my favorite poem because it can speak to many different types of people, because of the way I wrote it - everything from "little storms" to "big storms"

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 27 of 27
  • oldpoets
    March 17

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    This write expresses bending emotion. You have demostrated well the skill of a skill of gifted poet.


  • justapoet
    March 17

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    This was a wonderful write Lowercase Prelude. I love the way you have used the storm context and the story that you tell kept me interested and saddened at the same time. You used some very good imagery in this and you should be proud

  • Macsword
    March 17
    Edit | Reply

    Thank You

    Storms, but hope. Not just storms.

    Thank you.


  • Sortingthroughlife
    January 16

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    Amazing job. I can somewhat relate to the first part, and I think you've done a wonderful job of describing it.


  • trekkergirl
    October 23, 2008
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    This is interesting to read. I like all the imagery very much. And I think the repeated words do work well in this poem. Can't say that about them all but it does in this one. I however, wonder about the he-she in one of your stanza's. First you take about she... then switch to he (second stanza). You may have meant to do that tho. I dunno. All in all I do like this one.


  • movedon
    July 29, 2008
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    congrats on the trophies. Beautiful. Lovely!

    Warmest,
    Mylee


  • SignifyingNothing
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very moving. It is hard to think about what some people have to go through, and, sadly, churches are not always so good at helping and reaching out to hte hurting. A friend of mine was getting counseling through a church, then attempted suicide and was kicked out of counseling when she needed it most. The reason? The church administration was afraid that if she succeeded at suicide, her family would sue the church. So her church turned its back on her in her hour of need. She wasn't a Christian to begin with> Now she never wants to go to church again. Can I blame her?

    But onto the poem. This is so powerful, and I wasn't expecting the ending. I like to see a little hope that separates this from being just another angsty poem.

    Great write and thank you for entering.

  • baghdaelf
    June 2, 2008

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    Wow! Great poem. It is so true there are so many things going on in the world but He is always there.


  • GypsyEyes
    June 2, 2008

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    beautiful poem! i loved the entire thing! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox


  • Condemd RyeZing
    May 19, 2008
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    Wow. Nice job. Great write.


  • Lyrical Rain
    May 12, 2008

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    Another Storm To Tackle! Wow! this is truly amazing. I can relate to the entire poem because before we even come out of the next storm we are going through another. Powerful words; the message was wonderful; and this piece overall was just beautiful. It flowed so well!


  • Blooming Poet
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    http://allpoetry.com/contest/show/2404559
    you made it past audition. here is the link for round one.


  • warrior-eagle
    May 6, 2008
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    amazing


  • movedon
    May 5, 2008

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    wow.....this is just amazing. Wonderful work and a congrats on the honorable mention. It deserved gold though!

    Miley


  • Elle Kaye
    April 27, 2008

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    Oh i love the message behind these well penned lines. This was a really good poem and a truley interesting read, thanks for posting it.


  • blondone
    April 26, 2008

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    Life offers us stoms to tackle oh so true the emotions are so real the saddness washes over me I found strength in this write which will help overcome the storms to come and lessons to be learn ... thank you for posting I enjoyed this read and the light that sheds...


  • The Hermit
    April 25, 2008

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    Brillant! You almost never anticipate storm becuase life is full of them. You mix anger and grace beautifully into this.


  • Rita Krocha
    April 25, 2008

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    Wow! Such brilliant write!Almost never ending storms...I guess life is full of them, and sometimes it feels like there are people who face them more than we do...but i seriously love it the way you end with the belief in the One above who is capable of granting us grace and enough strength to tackle it all. Great Job!


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    April 24, 2008

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    Wow, there are many storms in our lives. Some are thunderstorms and some are raging hurricanes but God calms all sotrms.

  • Kalamina
    April 24, 2008

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    You did a good job bringing forward the problems that so many people deal with each and every day. The ending really did the poem justice, it left the poem with a hopeful feel to it, very beautiful!


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    April 24, 2008
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    The thing about storms is that while one is in the midst of it, it seems never-ending. However, I've found that the more violent the storm, the swifter it passes; although the aftermath may be chaos. You have offered a means of hope despite such weather, and reminded us all that God expects us to help each other while we reach for Him. Excellent message!


  • Butterfly24
    April 21, 2008

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    i hope you win first... I was on a roller coaster from sad to mad that pepole can be so mean and get away with it.. i have ben some of those girls.. not have the tine body or the clear skin so write on i feel the pain..


  • TabbyLynn
    April 21, 2008
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    omg this is amazing!!
    everything there ! every type of storm!!
    great job!! ^.^

  • eternal-devotion
    April 21, 2008

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    Very Insightful.

    You have created one of the deepest poems about the travails of life that I have read in a long time. Everything in this is so well thought out. I particularely liked your use of the title through-out this. Before reading this I went to your profile to find out a little about you and you sure write like your profile states that you are. Your ideas range somewhat along the line of my own thinking. I didn't find this a bit strange and really thought it was very well done.

    On your second line I would say (rejected)instead of just (reject).

    Overall a very good poem good luck in the contest.


  • broken-colours
    April 19, 2008

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    Wow! This was amazing. No wonder you chose to enter it; this definitely was a thoughtfully written and well-worded poem. All the examples you provided were great, ranging from racism to self-dissatisfaction, from dysfunctional families to suicidal thoughts; everything was in there. I especially love how everything was solved by turning to God at the end. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    March 23, 2008
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    yeah, I tried to incorporate a little bit of everything. Get all kinds of "storms". Even the ones we overlook sometimes. Like the people who can't pay their heating bill, for example.


  • P. W. Blackwell
    March 23, 2008

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    Amazinly Written

    wow this poem has a little of it all from the high school stuff to the stuff grown ups have to deal with

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