Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Rocking Sigh

 

 

Swinging in this old hammock
  as the night sky tumbles through,
     the stars bring solace & sing me
        a lullaby of cosmic serenity

and between these two old oaks
   as arms splay open to hang,
      thoughts of things that cost nothing...

toes in sand, midnight kisses, a reuniting embrace

dance in my mind, & the gentle sway in
   repose glides easily to thoughts of you;

 

 

a few chalky drops of rain

 find my open mouth

   the muddy taste reminds me

     of just how dense and fertile

          we were way back then. 

 

 

 






 

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • BlackSwan
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the way you wrote out this poem. Really beautiful images and romantic emotions incorporated.

    great write


  • The-Doctors-Angel31 silver member
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the romantic feel of this poem. I felt at peace when reading this. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.

  • JWGoethe
    April 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    romantic and well phrased. Serene and hopeful, as I read it.


  • Kp.s
    April 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was very well written - you painted a lovely picture of tranquility. I like the way you connected yourself with nature, with the day- in the final lines of the poem. Very good imagery as well- the hammock was a nice touch. All the best,
    KP


  • Frozen17
    April 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful and soothing.


  • Dalaney gold member
    March 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the easy sway of a hammock can induce such beautiful thoughts. Thank you so much for entering my contest. Love, Lane


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your words sway the reader
    into the reverie, wishing
    for those simple pleasures.
    Perfect capturing of the mood!
    And the title--more than perfect!!!!

    Aesthete


  • Somebody-New
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    firstly, i just wanna say thank you heaps for your comment on my poem! its greatly appreciated!
    this is a very beautiful peace, and i will agree with crimson ice and call it soothing. your words have been chosen perfectly and create a great image and atmosphere that flows so well and really draws the reader in.
    well done and good luck in the contest! xo


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful, I really enjoyed reading through this. My favourite lines are the last two. The word choice is amazing and it just means so much to me. Well done and all the best for the contest.

  • PerfectImperfection
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a soothing piece of thought you have penned within these lines.... Tranquility found inside the quiet context of wonderment. Interesting take on the prompt itself - but with a greater sense of depth. A very soft, sweet, and touching write. Here you shine a light, something glowing in the distance - well worth the shine.

    Beautiful.


  • movedon
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a cleverly thought up write. a beautiful poem that gives one much to ponder over for an image.

    love always~
    Miley


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aha - you're in Lane's "other half" contest.

    I must confess I love this. A free-ride in a hammock, thinking lovely thoughts. Clever and concise, great image.


  • Elle Kaye
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this, it made me think a lot. It was a really interesting read Great imagery.. Somehow i found this comforting


  • Kokaze
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    In the third line, I don't know if "solace" is the right word for the context. It doesn't quite seem to fit. Perhaps you might explain your thoughts there to me? It's a wonderful poem; I'd like to better understand it.

    I love the imagery here. Beautiful job, especially the bit about cosmic serenity


  • Oraculus
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very soft n solacing...

    Always enjoy your writes: there is no such thing as my favorite part, the poem is entire and excellent! I have high regard for your work: as high as it brings me into realms of mind wandering; I actually relaxed as I read... As you mention Swinging brings you to thoughts of... lol. DW

  • abba12
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooooh. it just makes me think of lying outside at night, watching the stars and listening to the animals around me. so free from all the stresses of day to day life. really good


  • LostInHooterville
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very poignant

    Nice smooth flow and easy feel to this midnight serenade. Good work, Grim.


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Easy to visualize this happening, laying in the hammock swinging in the breeze thinking of all these things and her. Easy to read and understand. Sentiments well expressed in these lines.

1 - 18 of 18