The year was 1985, a year I won't hardly forget.
Santa had left me a package that year, of which I still regret.
With only one night to fulfill all kid's wishes
and milk he must drink, and cookies on dishes.
I never once thought, as he yelled his,"HO,HO"
Where does he go when he has to... you know?
We all have to go sometime during the day, as does Santa too.
When he came down the chimney his belt was undone and right to the bathroom he flew.
I could tell by his CRAPPIN, that his butt cheeks were FLAPPIN as the smell hit me just like a brick.
My wife started crying, the kids were all dying and the dog went outside to get sick.
So the next time that Santa shows up at your home, lock the bathroom and hide with your spouse.
And hope that if Santa has to go really bad, he delivers it to the next house.
Author notes
This was fun, just made it up on the spot.
Written December 3rd, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Waking Up Finding Santa Claus Doing WHAT?! by rummery78.
250 points, ended January 11, 2004, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Very funny. Poor Santa has a bad rap now...I lov ethe imagery...although I should say it is quite disturbing...=) lol Good luck in the contest...
~Anastasia -
That was excellent!
Im loving the rhyme in that!
Im sure hoping Santa doesnt do his business in our toilet, The flusher button is dodgy lol Santa Crap on Ebay, Sell, high price
Good Stuff!
LoneStar -
This was funny CRAP! ha ha get it crap?
ok, well ummmmmmmm not a good image fat guy crap butt, eeeew, but funnier than CRAP! If crap is funny, lrt me think...... yea it's funny! Way to Go! -
this was great!! I definately liked this approach as well.
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Great
Ahahaha.. too funny! Maybe Santa had some mexican food er somefin lol.. Good job oneslowtyper!
~Somber -
Thanks Rummery, it's kind of odd that I've submitted 2 completely different poems on Christmas, one to make you laugh and one to make you cry.($15.00 Christmas contest) I guess that's what the Holidays are all about.
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Too many cookies and maylanta, funny approach to this poem, I would never think of this..hahaha...I would hate to enter the bathroom. Good laugh and good read. Good luck.
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well....on the spot I read it...
good luck.
Sam
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When he does, he always goes for the stocking all the way to the left. lol
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At least he didnt leave it in the stockings!!!!!!!
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If dodgy cookie means it was filled with ex-lax, you are probably right leanne.
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Thanks I.T. When I read it to my kids they almost wet their pants,
poor Santa will never live it down. -
lolol...oh my gosh you shattered my illussions about santa!!....
poor thing must have been a dodgy cookie....great write...very funny!!!....hugs...leanne xxx
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This is so funny! HAHA! This is a great idea for a hiliarious Santa Doing The Naughty type of contest! Good luck.
I.t.
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