Remember me when I am dead
for with you I'll always stay;
my soul shall guide the way at times
when you think there's just no way.
I loved you all with all my heart
there's nothing I wouldn't start;
for those one loves are never far
as close as next to your heart.
Will watch you from way up on high
with sun, the rain I'll be there;
I looked into my heart to write
with this poem you'll see my care.
Weep not for me when I am gone
I'll keep you close to me;
Then one day when times is just right
again each other we'll see.
Author notes
Used two lines: Remember me when I am dead, and I looked into my heart to write.
A contest entry
- Index of First Lines by Keith.
525 points, ended March 29, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Amazing
very touching and sweet. I wonder what people will think of me when im dead? and thank you for your comment on Monsters.
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Excellent
Very well done. Great expression and so very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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A good poem, though one or two of the rhymes seem a bit forced: the inversion in "with this poem you'll see my care" and "again each other we'll see" come across as a bit clumsy. But the subject of what happens after death is very close to the heart of the poet. I thought you might like a link to the original, which is called Simplify Me When I'm Dead, and is by a poet called Keith Douglas, who was killed in WW2 in Normandy in 1944:
http://website.lineone.net/~nusquam/simplify.htm
Thanks for entering. -
This is sad. It flows very nicely. Good luck to you and all your writing endeavors. I really like the picture of the sunset.
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