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Rebellion's True Habit

You’ve let me bruise
you make me bleed
your heart the blade
I’ve come to in dependence
-don’t ever
    leave
me-

Each kiss of metal
with a red drop of iron
brings life to stop [heal]
the pain I’ve fallen for
-you
      hold my
blood-

Don’t let me die
unless pain, broken down [fear]
and failure combine together
in order to carve me
-a more
    perfect
gravestone-

Author notes

supposed to represent how today's teenage society seems to think cutting is "cool" so they cut... or they want to rid of their pain with more pain and seeing blood.... it's a habit... but they don't seem to want to die... hope you like it

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Ryno gold member
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is killer. I loved this write because of the sarcastic, yet purely emotional and strong message and the phrasing, especially in the last two stanzas, sounded like that out of an emo poem, but pumped up lots better more creatively and ingeniously.

    You also helped us to realize at the end that yes, this is an issue, and yes, this is something you can in fact die from and, while overlooked a lot, this is something we should work to stop.

    Good idea, very creative and thanks for the entry.


  • FourMalletCapricorn
    March 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Whoops i forgot my applause...


  • FourMalletCapricorn
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Perfect

    It makes me sad that that's the way our society seems to view things... a perfect poem to express it. Sorry I haven't been on in forever! I hope you're not mad...