((((COMMENT PLEASE))))
From dusk til dawn, the damn thing's on,
An image wrought maze casts a true blue haze,
Entertainment junkies and educational flunkies,
Ads so sly, saying buy! buy! buy!
Simplistic fascination, numbs imagination,
Glazed over faces, to far away places,
Tuned in masses with rose colored glasses,
Enslaving the flocks, that damned Idiot Box.
Author notes
Comment Please and pass it on to your friends to read I need comments for this contest to win. I will return the favor. Thank You
UPDATE to win the contest we need to have the most applauses so if you can please if you can't or don't want to thats ok.
A contest entry
- Promote Your Best, And Get comments while you're at it by RyanosaurusWrecks.
7015 points, ended April 23, 2008, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
An honest citique is well accepted
Comments
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good insight, perhaps if we all stopped watching the idiot box and instead did something...well actually who knows what would happen. It very well might cause the collapse of world economy....
Good poem with smooth ryhming
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Lol. That's why I never watch television. Brain rot! =x
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fun and penetrating at the same time
good rhyme, clear message, truth well expressed.
this line says so much!! :
An image wrought maze casts a true blue haze,
I like it
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Nice job here-- now make with that cake!
: )
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Isabelwk
Really cool!
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Brutally Prophetic
Exactly why I don't have cable right now. Honest and comical at the same time. Throw that damn box out and play 62 hands of solitaire instead! ;0)
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Yes! Yes! Calling all idiots!
I can identify with this only to well. Spent a good portion of my life as an idiot in front of the Boob Tube! Now that I'm an AP addict I don't have the time to be Boobed to death & I'm so glad to say that! I loved this write. All the best in the contest. This one's a winner by me!!! A+++ -
haha, this is too true at our house, too, but it's not the TV, it's the computer! Just went on a little nature walk yesterday to visit some baby animals and was astounded at reality. lol. Good luck in the contest!
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Good job, I can not stand the T.V (Unless CSI is on, then I am just a mindless zombie.)
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Haha..... This is a very interesting piece - I never have read a poem about... Tvs.... Anyways
Great write
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Ah yes THE BOX, heaven & hell in one package.
A great write.
G -
WONDERFUL!!!
I had an incredibly deja vu like moment just now..we were just talking about this subject an hour ago!! I don't care for T.V. I have movies...and movies, and more movies, but haven't had regular T.V. in years, and know what? Don't miss it one little bit.
Blah Blah, yada yada, I love your humourous insight, very enlightening...uhyeah, that's it...
Best wishes to you, and how come you don't have a link to your wife's poem, huh? Shame on you!!!...LOL
Remedy this Sir, ASAP!!!
LOL
Kidding. Sorta.
Peace,
Jin
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Love the humor, rhyme and topic of this poem. Really well done! I knew right away it was a tv.
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o.o a tv!!!!
i like this poem... LOVE IT RLLY jeje
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I really like this poem.
I'm not really into poems that's ride
But like this one alot...
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This was a very good poem, with creative use of language, about a topic not often touched upon. I did not find it awkward, or forced, but I did have to read it twice to get the meaning. Very imaginative!
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ohhhh lol i understand it now! see i just had to read it again. you're talking about a television right? wonderful way to put it!!! AWESOME!
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i love this! this made me laugh. it also made me think though, i'm going to have to reread it and i still may not get it! but that's the fun of it ^^ i love your usage of vocabulary [even the cursing which simply added emphasis and made a point] it was just a lot of fun and a very well written piece. you may want to consider adding a background just to set the mood. but its a personal preference. good job! ^^
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Much.
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Very
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This
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Liked
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I
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Poem
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Nice
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yayayayayayayay are YOU plugged in? i bet you are..
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hmm, I really dont like this poem all that much, something just makes it akward to read... a lot of it seems forced.. and i wasnt really sure, but i think its about a tv. a strange topic. alas, this is all i can say for your poem.
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While I agree with the subject and what you say, I find the read less than satisfying. For me, it reads like a collection of lines with only the subject to tie them together. It lacks cohesion. I do not like the first line at all; something like this belongs in the author's notes as it detracts from the poem itself; unless it is part of the poem, in which case it makes no sense.
Overall, not bad, but I think it could be better.
Thank you for sharing.
rous -
great
I think your poem was good.
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I can feel the raw anger here at that thing in the corner that controls!
Nicely written! -
Okay.
Well reality shows gets boring after awhile unless you know someone on it. I do like the educational programs. I sure do wish they would educate the news media. Man we all think that the news media are idiots so it is appropiate that they be on there. Pretty good rant and interesting piece. -
clever, down talking what all couch potatoes worship. best of luck!
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CHUCKLING!!!
I LOVED IT
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Love it!
Thats awesome!! Its so true. Its horrid how people's lives revolve around television shows, isn't it? Yup. You're a great poet! Keep it up.
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This is a good piece of writing, one slight issue though:
"From dusk til dawn, the damn things on,"
=> I think this is supposed to say "thing's" rather than "things", which is also the same as saying "the damn thing is on".
Best of luck in the contest.
- Jojo x sinnocence -
Dear DR
You don't know what to believe anymore, it is all sell,sell, sell.
Even the Public Service Warnings about, "Flash Flood Warnings" for your area are sometimes followed by
"Totes Umbrella" Ads!Give me a break!
Nice poem, nice rhyme.
John
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This is a good one and the words are oh so true. I like the glazed over faces reminding me of my family.
Myk -
I really like your style... The way you wrote this is very appealing, and I am not surprised by the 102 comments below mine. This is some great work, here. I do like the ending two lines the best. I'm a sucker for roses as well.
Hah hah. Good luck with this one.
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I have a habit of "burning" my remote! lol short, but sweet and true!
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Though sounds like a satire, it is all rather true..Very well written with good phrases used...I like it...
All the best in the contest!
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"Simplistic fascination, numbs imagination,
Glazed over faces, to far away places,
Tuned in masses with rose colored glasses,
Enslaving the flocks, that damned Idiot Box."
love these lines! great job you have a great write, the title gives it a joking tone but the poem itself is almost political and in that sense i definitely agree that people tend to watch way to much tv! -
Extending my compliments for your poem and for your lovely wife who sent me in this direction to leave a comment. Best wishes
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Excellent
i really like it. and it's so true. there should be a day where no idiot box should be on. or at least on hour of a day. it takes away from family time.
it reminds me of a song called the instrumental by Lupe Fiasco
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How very clever! Really, really true.
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Great hunor in this...lol
Sometimes I just want to turn it off forever ...The noise starts to drive me nuts....
Great points made here with wonderful rhyme...
Lynda
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Cute one,cant say I have ever heard it truer than this.Job well done.
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Great Poem
Well I so agree with your thoughts on the Idiot Box or how I refer to it, The Boob Tube. I think of the 400 channels I watch but 10. Best of luck in the contest with your great poem. You take care, Sandy
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I agree,we watch too much TV
I sit here thinking, all channels are stinking
With that being said, I'm watching from bed
and what do I see, thats programing me
looks like a dollar, I eagerly free...
rudolf
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i dont understand what the title has to do with the poem
i like the poem
but the title just confuses me--then again it is late & my brain isnt functional
best of luck in the contest
♥
Dead Star--x -
Funny and Clever
This made me smile. AND it had me (so-to-speak) shaking my head in irony and agreement. Hmmmm...what have we gotten ourselves into...lol. Great job with this (like the humor; made it more digestable).
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LOL! Nice one!!! Clever, true and well written!
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(You're nearing your goal!)
Congrats once again on writing something we can all relate to and laugh about. The poem makes it easier to laugh at such things rather than be annoyed (not that the feeling isn't there or anything). Great job, keep up the great writes, and good luck in the contest!
--Flare
o|--|=======>
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I can't say much as I am a slave to the "idiot box" lately, but I want to give you a comment so you can win the contest- good luck with that!
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Absolutely true! I love your humorous, relatable expression..nice job on this write. Best of luck to you in the contest. I hope u get more than enough votes to claim some serious victory!!!
Best wishes in all you do,
Debbie<3 -
Nothing is more true than your poetic description of idiot box. So true and so wise. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing
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This is really good, truer words never spoken! fantastic peice. Good luck in the contest,
~Lkm -
This was interesting , I'm not sure I understand why you actually wrote it but with poetry there doesn't have to be a reason why we write things, just because it comes to us , that is why I love it so much .
Anyhow the flow was wonderful and you seem very passionet about what you write ... so that is good .
Julie -
nicely done! I agree.
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haha nicely done... the rhyme was nice good luck in the contest
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its true tv is on from morning till night..but does anyone watch it..no.. good luck in the contest..xxx
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thanks for well done job and think and writing out side the box.. i love it.. you 're right on.... thanks for sharing
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hehe, how right on you are! That's the only way we can watch the shows we love! They need sponsors! An out-of-the -box write that I loved!
Best wishes!
Shana
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I am very impressed indeed... Not once did your rhyme sound forced or fake! I hate TV, and I'm so glad that someone was able to put those feelings into words!
Great work!
Laura xxx
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I agree 100%. There's humour in it even though it really is a sad concept, and I love it
[stay sick']
xx Sin -
I am impressed with the nice work on inner rhyming and some added aliteration, plus the imagery is so amusing to me ...a sad and vivid view of reality, of how the TV dominates...
All the best ~Lilac
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Hahaha... Nice. I love this. The idiot box. Really funny and it was still poetic. That takes talent my friend. Good luck in the contest. You have a way to go. (One poem has 200+ comments... About 250 I think... Grrrr)
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Lol I loved this. It's exactly what TV is today. Good thing I don't watch it much.
I thought this was very corky and origonal, great job!
Good luck in the contest! -
Good humored look at TV. You may want to expand this in the future to include the Medusa effect - all the things that now plug in (X Box - Wii - PS3) to distract us from realizing we're STILL ON TV (LOL).
Good write!
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I like this good job.
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Yes No Other Invention
has lead to the dumbing down of us all, I am afraid. Your words capture the effects o too much time spent away from inter-personal relationships with those closest to us.
Well Said and Well Done!!! Good Luck!!!
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That's a very good write and a great reason to tune into public radio.
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Haha cute.
Yes the TV is an idiot box at times but what did we all do before it and computers...
Best of luck to you.
Becky
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It was good, but it was a little cluttered, other then that the content was ok, but I liked the meaning, it was cool
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technically it was good. But the content wasnt really orginal. Yet the flow n structure as well as the imagery painted had me bounded.
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I love this!! And I think I know what this is about...TV??? Yeah...I definitely loved this poem. Awesome job!
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it seems your more of an outdoorsy, spend time with family sort of person. life is about being doing and seeing, not solely about watching
observing is different again but...
thanks for sharing
jezz
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LOL true, but once in a while it's very relaxing, just sitting there, staring.
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dang dude
dang dude, that is true the only thing that usually is going on my box is music, sirius satellite radio, dude it's so true my dad does that
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lol....you had it here. i was laughing and that's a good thing. best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dani~ -
very nice write, ha ha had me laughing at a few lines. Great ideas.
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t.v. computer ... what's the difference. A junky is a junky. I would not be here now if I wasn't a computer junky. Nice write though.
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Death to the TV...as soon as I can stop watching it. Amen on this piece. -R.T
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if the box is the tv,,well yes its on,,i like it somedadys..but i enjoyed your tirade,,good luck to you ,,peter
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I'M AN IDIOT!!! It's much more pleasureable than studying though, no matter what's on...
I really like it, the poem, not TV. I love the line,
Entertainment junkies and educational flunkies
Wonderful piece. Good luck in the contest.
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Love the title...oh, wait...I'm one of the idiots, aren't I?!?! lol Great write!!! and good luck.
Wyattxxx
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Excellent Poem. I hate tvs unless well theres something good on lol Good luck with this poem in the contest
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hehehehe, idoit box is a good choice of word... love it
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Blue Haze is Great!
I've fallen asleep to that many times, stuck to the floor in front of the Boob Tube with eyes closing & telling Mom
that I'm just resting. Right...snoozing is more like it. Ya know I read this yesterday & left a comment & now I don't see it! Go figure. Anyway...you nailed this phenom just right! Hey...TV snow's before my eyes & I'm falling asleep at the keys. GTG. Thanks for another great bed time write! LOL...not that it makes me drowsy...I'm just late for bed! Bye Mark.. -
You have that damned straight! Now I gotta go... Survivors on. Hehehehe
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I sometimes forget tv exists.
Well done.
Be Well
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lol
WONDERFUL! -
Wow!!
Now this piece has a beat to it and everything
Love the rhyme~
Wooooooo Hoooooooo
Keep that quill dancing~~
and the message out there to be read...
Many blessings to You in the contest
Best wishes in all You do
and much love~ Desire~*~
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It's an interesting piece... very nice rhymes and true imagery. It gets a little crowded at the beginning with the statements feeling too long after the initial statement... but other than that really well done.
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so true this write..our tv is on all day whether we watch it or not..them dam ads gets my goat..good luck in the contest..xx
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This is a wonderfully created piece. The imagery is really awesome and paints a very clear picture for me. Good luck with getting comments dear.
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Awesome title. This is very nice and to the point. I enjoyed reading this poem, good job and good luck in the contest!
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Great title to the poem, super wording, each line getting another point across, you really communicated and summed up what television and advertisement has done and is doing to us, i really enjoyed this poem, excellent work!
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awesome rhyme...... well done! as well great humor .. i love it .. keep it up good luck in contest.. thanks for sharing
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These words my friend so very true.I think that I would have called this poem The Seduction Box because that is what advertising is all about, of course we are all idiots if we succumb. I like this and wish you good luck in the contest. Val
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