hours drag endlessly
but whole days (eons)
slip through my hands
time rushes on by
waiting for no one
but I am standing still
what am I waiting for?
you grow up
as I just grow older
wearier
but not much wiser
the seasons change
I need a change
but I know
the more things change
the more they stay the same
it's always the same
and I can not
change my mind
there is no solution
only this daily battle
in a war already lost
Comments
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Well I loved the title, i was intrigued to read a french oem finally, only to see that it was english, which was clever on your part because it drew me in and it worked nicely with the poem. I loved the meaning behin the poem to, I can se where u were goin with it and I really got the feel for it. I wasnt too fond of the last stanza though, no where else in the poem did it mention a war/battle/struggle and so it seemed to come out of no-where. My only suggestion for this poem would be to make reference to this "battle" somewhere else, or use a word similar to it in the beginning, or completely change the last stanza. Other than that it was an awesome poem, seemed to come out very natural.
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like it
" ... daily battle in a war already lost."
" ... you grow up as I just grow wearier ... "
Good lines.
To me, the piece feels straight, even and balanced.
. Rewarded 4
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