suppress this desire.
a daily struggle.
psychology.
for what is sin if that is youth.
i have to pretend
i never feel that way about you.
{and each time i fall, it brings me closer and closer
to where i lose Him, i lose myself.}
the world sees me in a different cell
than you and i see myself.
this world is only the first hell.
i am undeserving of that sacrifice
to take the next step to change my life.
for if my forever could be changed--
i thought the carnal lusts would surely fade.
i have found
that is not true.
i have to pretend
i never feel that way about you.
a euphemism for a void of who i wanted to be.
(every time i think of burning eternally.)
she is SHEOL.
Adding your comment: