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End of Pain

She's tired of crying,
Tired of all the dying.

Everything she's known is gone,
She's left alone and can't move on.

Moving silently through her days,
Still set in her self-destructive ways.

Lashing out at those who try to break down her walls,
She walks alone again until she falls.

Drawing blood for blood once more,
They find her lying on the floor.

She'd given up on her hopes and dreams,
No one could really hear her screams.

The one thing she left behind,
Was a note sealed and signed.

"This is the end of pain"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • FlipperSwitch
    April 23, 2008

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    Very nice. You said a lot with simplicity which is well done and beautifully painful, though with such a strong topic I could imagine some more depth. Thank you for entering.


  • Devilish Temptation
    April 19, 2008

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    Outstanding!

    Great! I love these emotional pieces, so morbidly beautiful, your poem is one of the best I have ever read, take care


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    April 10, 2008

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    Such a sad and tragic piece. Nicely penned though and I really can understand and sympathize with your pain.


  • Swan song gold member
    April 9, 2008
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    Intense and well done good luck


  • Glass Heart
    April 1, 2008

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    Wow. It's very powerful and very emotional. It flowed well. Thank you and good luck. Congratulations, you are on the finalists list.


  • Little Miss Mental
    March 29, 2008

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    This has very strong and compelling images in it, it puts me in a mood. You should feel proud that you can write this well. Thanks for the input in my contest


  • brokenangel13
    March 26, 2008
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    wonderful

    I love this poem.


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    March 24, 2008

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    Whoa... a little speechless.

    First of all, I have to say that you did an excellent job with the rhyme scheme.
    This was a very well written piece, and I loved how you built up suspense and emotions, right up to the end where you broke through that tension with one final brilliant line.
    This reminds me very much of something I would have written at your age (in style and subject matter), only I think you did a better job than I would have then.
    Great job!!!
    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!
    Note: if you are feeling suicidal, please get help. You can also message me any time - I am very understanding as I have been there (a few times now).


  • LadyDementia gold member
    March 24, 2008

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    Packs a big punch does this poem. Superbly penned. You have really got the pain and anguish felt by those trapped across. All the best in the contest with it


  • serenity silvermoon
    March 24, 2008

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    this is a sad but great poem you did a great job on this keep up the great work i hope we can be friends and i can read more of your poetry thanks for sharing god bless you love serenity


  • Dark Prince Chaos
    March 20, 2008

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    this was a truly beautifull poem such sorrow in it its words as art this poem just wow great job thank you for joining my contest -bows- (*)


  • SeansterMonster
    March 17, 2008
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    This poem expresses the need for God in peoples' lives perfectly. I love it.

  • Mom of Blondes
    March 16, 2008

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    A Dramatic Write!

    This is an excellent poem. I like how it builds up, tapers down and then hits you with the last line.
    Very dramatic!

    I like that you don't write these poems about you being suicidal or depressed, but about others and their pain and how you see it.

    I know you don't condone such things and that this is not a poem promoting suicide, but comes from the viewpoint of seeing the pain the person went through that brought them to such a terrible thing as to take their life, which is always wrong.

    Excellent job!

1 - 13 of 13