Spinning tales of bliss and joy in the soul
Towards the outside..my lights will reach out
But never catch them, here and there glowing..
And guiding the questions to my answers for all
And they don't listen..and they fail to live
Out of their solitude crawls their conscience.
Escaped for brief moments at a time, and they feel
But cannot reach as I do, and so won't find me.
The strength wilted the will tainted by the very
Paths those -normal- people chose. And here I am.
Others as I lay blatant and bare for the naked eye
To be seen to be heard and the willing appreciate
Of course..and they will follow for a while like me
And falter again and again as I, though I stood
And carried on after realizing my only chain was me.
Confusion and self deprivation have made us look "stronger"
And yet we simply can't open up to expose the rest. This
Vortex of chaos leading into memories and darkness captures
Our thoughts and the past and future mind keeps us there -
Pinned- and takes no more than what it thrives on.
No more than what will leave us suffocated..suffering..
My suffering breeds in the spaces where I stop living.
The time stretched where I stop and know that friends fall behind
As I reach to carry them I get caught in the moment and instead
Of flying I see them in a symphony of sympathy and so I drown.
Once peace is regained remembering that I am of them no longer
I take off again and watch but tarry not for realization of the pull.
The undertow we never see coming to join in the race of the fallen
Ending only in the dark where they huddle for warmth and just dissipate
Soulfully and mentally and physically because they have forgotten faith.
I so often feel alone in bliss, but that is impossible
for I wouldn't KNOW without a teacher and guide.
The bliss of solitude is the realization that there
Are more and the number will always grow. There will
Never be a space to deep between the soul and the world.
Author notes
It might not make perfect sense, but then again, this is just me rambling about my experiences^_^
A contest entry
- The Bliss of Solitude by Pamela A Lamppa.
3500 points, ended March 25, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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It's a play on life
Where even the title states the original feeling: so this is suffering; the first stanza brings a hint of the beginning, me. trying to share some of the realizations of my life with those around me tends to leave me dizzy in the process of helping them (kids my age, or at least 13+)understand what i mean. *there's a difference between explaining a part of life, and actually realizing it for yourself* ___________________
the second and third stanza says some of them listen but cant continue getting the crap out of their life for a good start, which entails laying yourself out FOR yourself, you dont have to tell anyone else you dont always need a shrink, but the first step is to look at exactly what YOU ARE SO FAR so you can see what has been built from an opinion or YOUR choices.____________
the fourth stanza comments on their taken-on life-views, and how without the individual having access to the absolute truth of the mater at hand, they tend to take on the person's opinion..whoever is telling them something about life. they just accept what they're told before questioning what's going on or things they've seen so that they can conclude their individual view^_^now some people fall away from that all-too-simple-and-blunt instruction and take a very opposite path, rebellion in it's entirety. then, there, whatever they get into is a downward spiral. nothing at the end of the tunnel but darkness and self-destruction, unless they stop and look for something brighter then actually WORK towards it.______
_______________________________________________________
my fifth is crucial. it tells you a little about how your mind only exists in the past and future. no, think about it. when you THINK; it's a plan, a memory, an image which is also memory..future and past. when you see something interesting or BEAUTIFUL for the first time, like a child, are you thinking? no. you're EXPERIENCING. that's how the clearest memories are made. because you were SO enthralled in that ONE moment that the feeling and image stayed with you! well, i noticed how remembering and planning saps the moments out of your life span..your time left to experience your surroundings. not just looking around with the oo's and ahh's but LIVING. actually watching yourself to notice how clear every freakin movement sounds when it's quiet. how clear the sky is when you really stop thinking and how fresh the air is when you forget all the little details of crap and stop lessening your breath so no one hears you. when i'm noticing EVERYTHING at once like this, i see the rest of the people as well. and how cluttered they;re thoughts are. ouch..i sympathize and just come up with random conversation to ease the tension in the air, then i learn about their lives as i'm making friends and take too much interest and drown in their past with them. it hurts to pull away, after getting close enough to help them and i find out they dont want to be helped..i have to back off after i'm already involved and care about them.____this flows right into the next stanza______
where i just say how i'm back on my feet again and my head in the clouds, so to speak. i mention how easy it really is to fall into step with the pull of those that purposefully dont want to change and are too comfortable in the dark..those who draw from people like me..energy wiping, actually. you know, those you could simply sit near/next to and maybe strike up conversation, then you feel some of your happy buzz just kind of fade? yeah. wonderful people some of them. that's how easy it is to get caught in the undertow.___
so the final stanza is my conclusion, my feelings of personal darkness when i see how few and far between are the truly happy people, we still have problems the exact same ones as everyone and anyone. the difference is that without the chaos of the mind, i can relax half the time knowing that i have no expectation either way. a good outcome or otherwise. without expectations, there is no letdown in the progress and less to worry about.
the one part of my future i readily am distracted with is the fact that there will always be more and more lives fully realized..more people like me^_^ -
Betranced
what does it mean...no fun playing with a wet piece...
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Hmnmm. Them, their, they. I don't know if I am sure who the they are?
I absolutely LOVE how you poured this onto the page. There is a lot of wonderful imagery and this is filled with raw, heated emotion. Good good good. I did, however, feel this could be worked to better understand your message and would want you to take the time to do just that.
Ideas such as:
"Out of their solitude crawls their conscience.
Escaped for brief moments at a time, and they feel
But cannot reach as I do, and so won't find me.
The strength wilted the will tainted by the very
Paths those -normal- people chose. And here I am."
could perhaps be:
Out of solitude crawls conscience,
brief moments of escape;
feelings that cannot reach inner depth and thus,
hide me.
Will is wilted by the paths of the norm and still,
Here I am.
At least this is where I was headed with your stanza. Oh I simply love the depth of emotion you have placed in this poem and your thoughts are genuine. They are able to move a reader because they touch us all, inside, where our vulnerabilities lie.
I am pleased to have your entry in my contest. Thank
you for such wise eyes. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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"because they have forgotten faith"
this line seems to pull out a clear perspective
from this intricate train of thought. So much
observation here, of others, of self giving this
piece a very reflective atmosphere.
I do echo your own note in that it has a "rambling"
appearance and flow. If I could, may I suggest a
mild restructuring now that you've gotten the thoughts down and they can't disappear? There is
a bit of repetition and in a piece of this length,
you don't want the reader to lose interest because
certain things seem to repeat themselves.
I felt this was very fitting to theme and would make a great impact in both feeling and insight if it
had a more fluid flow. Blue
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