I wanted to spit my words out on paper just so you could see my pain verbalized.
Yet that wouldn't cut it either.
There is this struggle to relate to the rest of humanity;
Sometimes I get blank stares and sometimes I get their pity.
My feet were dragging
through the streets
and my hands
were in pockets
I was choosing not to look up
In the pit of my stomach
there was this hunger
Hunger for just a glimpse
at a connection
to not be lost in this
isolation
But the motives behind your eyes
were a mystery to me
exactly like the rest of the world
So I finally gave up
trying to string sentences together
to get some point across
My vernacular was useless
and my pathetic attempts
at unity
were a waste;
tasteless fragments about hope.
A contest entry
- The Bliss of Solitude by Pamela A Lamppa.
3500 points, ended March 25, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
solitude, unavoidable
Comments
-
But the motives behind your eyes
were a mystery to me
exactly like the rest of the world
Love it.
-
I like the blatant rant that so accurately depicts how interactions often go. You have penned well to the prompt of isolation. Is it bliss? Perhaps not and then again, if it is unavoidable, it is a choice and therefore it is bliss.
One to make a reader think, until such things as life interfere.
We make our own solitude, and we all need some of it.
Well done to the prompt dear poet. Keep the ink fresh and you will have readers. Thank you for entering my contest and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
-
NICE take on this prompt.
I have a suggestion:
In the pit of my stomach
there was this hunger
Hunger for just a glimpse
at a connection
to not be lost in this
isolation
remove "this" from line 2 and line 5 here.
I think is makes a harder impact in knowing the hunger is there without questioning and knowing there is isolation without questioning.
I understand your impact and think it more effective in poetry without the word "this".
I will be back to read this beauty. It is a gem of an entry.
~Pamela
-
i hope your okay =[
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