Ode To The Unconverted

Did you know that thanks to them!
A British printer can’t use an “em”.

Euro units from faceless men
Have also killed the printers “en”.

Cloth makers lose out as well
With the sad demise of the dear old “ell”

And can we use the noble “inch” — alas no more
Now it must all be centimetres — 2 point 5-4

All lengths must change at a pace that’s hectic
For all too soon we must all go metric.

Lengths are not the only change alas
We must now revise the measured capac – ity.

No more “bushel”, no more “peck”
They’ve been replaced — oh bloody heck!!

The humble “gallon” “pint” and “quart”
In the metric web they too are caught

And our drinks will not get any sweeter
When we’re forced to buy them by the litre.

And when by the European Law’s we’re bound
Me must even loose our British pound.

Our home made foods. Neat, fruit and jam
Now must be measured by the gram.

What’s the reason for this vast upheaval?
The death of units from times mediaeval

All calculations will — in the future
Be performed by an ill programmed computer.