Image Credit: Morning Light On A Willow by Paul Davis
Ah, for you,
my aurora beauty do I sing,
glowing frost bitten
with sunrise glisten
warming nighttime kiss
with new day bliss.
How tenderly you swoop and reach
in willowed stretch
touching the sketch of my eyes
watching you.
My sound croons rhythmic ride
with current glide
of rapid's white-foamed filtered glow;
a prism rainbow voice
that babbles heartfelt tune.
Your silver fingered freeze
breezes tender umber hues
chromatic with sun’s rise and touch.
And so you reach for me,
stretching
to be free of knots and twine -
alight where my heart pines for you
to join and then combine.
Caress my deeply flowing love
and drink the tune I play.
My morning song with blend and swish
paints pretty tones on colored fish;
gifted jewels and gems to view
reflecting love,
offered to you.
Author notes
Prompts:
"Sabrina fair, Listen where thou art sitting...
In twisted braids of lilies knitting
the loose train of thy amber-dropping hair."
~~~John Milton {1608-1674}~~~
~Fifth theme in this series of colour & metaphor~
Definitions of Color For This Theme:
Sabrina: river tones
fair: soft, lucent
lilies: white, pure
amber: brownish-yellow, matured
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Pamela A. Lamppa
In a list
A contest entry
- When Sabrina's Hair Falls To Reflection....Quote & Colour Theme by Blue Rew.
1170 points, ended March 20, 2008, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FAVS by Swan song.
3000 points, ended April 5, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Win $50, and be published in the next Allpoetry Book! by Kevin.
400 points, ended January 15, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
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Dear Pamela
I cannot write so freshly and with such images as you. Congratulations in gaining a well-deserved spot in Kevin's anthology.
The poem exhibits colurs as one of life's crucial beauties; the free verse is well set on the page with rhyme used as suits rightfully in your free verse. [The present popet laureate of USA uses irregular rhymes often as a tool in her verse.
]
Your verse glides like a swan but the evolution of it would mean hard underwater paddling by you.
Congratulations, Ron.
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Thank you Ron. I am partial to this piece and will be so glad to see it published. Congrats to you too for your beautiful sivler trophy. Well done. ~Pamela
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This is lovely, Pamela, with its irregular rhyme and soft message of sensuality. I am so pleased to see it in the finalist list for the book.
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Thank you so much. I too was pleased to see it in the finalists. Thank you for taking a moment to read and comment. Much much appreciated. ~Pamela
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What an unique form!
It is what I would call a rhyming free verse. A gem that is well metered with beautiful imagery. I can imagine the amount of editing that you did to get it to a final version.
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Thank you so much. I am so pleased for your comment here and so glad you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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Flowing with imagery and beauty, your metaphors are awesome and fit perfectly. What a pleasure it is to read and ponder.
Soft and strong at the same time, you've done it, so well, again!
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Thank you for such kind words. Very very much appreciated. ~Pamela
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This is great. The most beautiful poem about the nature that I could ever imagine.
The best of luck in the contest.
Karina
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Thank you Karina, ~Pamela
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With your usual glide and grace. Much love.
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Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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Wow this is an amazing piece of poetry.
Beautifully worded in splendid form and rhyme.
Brillliant indeed, best of wishes to you always.
Tony
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Thank you Tony. This is one of my favorites. I read this one at a live reading several weeks ago and people seemed to like it. Thank you for such wonderful words. Much much appreciated. ~Pamela
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Beautiful.
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Thank you.
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There is real power in this poem. You never cease to amaze with your poetric ability to flat croon and another thing about your poetry is it looks as good on the page as it does when you sing it in your heart.
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Jeff
Thank you so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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wonderful feeling and mood here, imagery that puts one in the scenic placid river view...so very well done...PK
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PK
Thank you my friend. I am so pleased you enjoyed this one. Your words mean so much. ~Pamela 
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Nicely done Pamela. This is so descriptive and the word usuage is fantastic. I like the form also that has a river flow to it. Thanks for sharing and congrats on the silver.
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ckwriter69
I am pleased you found pleasure in this poem. Thank you so much for your kind and wonderful words. ~Pamela
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Amazing silver...smiles..this is just so very beautiful I adore the imagery of each and every line...
You have taken your readers on such a wonderful journey, I adore the photo its as if the artist took a photo to reflect upon the words you have penned...smiles
Beautiful poetry...
Blessings
~A~
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~A~
Thank you so much. I am so pleased you found pleasure in this verse and appreciate your kind comments very much. Thank you. ~Pamela
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This is a wonderfully twisting, coiling poem, made so by the line decisions and augmented by the rhyme--which makes it feel and sound like the movement of water at dawn. The willow is there literally but rapidly becomes as much a presiding spirit/genius (in the same sense that Sabrina is a river-spirit) as tree/person. The poem creates an appropriately heightened sense of persona, as if the speaker/singer and subject were simultaneously river/willow, lovers, and god/goddess of water and tree. It sings.
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micol
I am simply thrilled with your wonderful review of this poem. Thank you so much. Your words mean so much and carry so much weight with me. Thank you. ~Pamela
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my reading flowed like that stream until this line - not that there was anything wrong, but this line was just wonderful:
"..My morning song with blend and swish
paints pretty tones on colored fish;.."
It delightfully swishes magically across the page.
Fine job once again.
Paul
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Paul
You are a love. Thank you so much for your awesome comment. Much much appreciated. ~Pamela
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Lovely bliss of rhyme to kiss the meaning of a falling fragrance...wonderful work///
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kaibib
Thank you so much. It is always a pleasure to receive a comment from you on my work. And hearty congrats to you on your beautiful gold in this contest. A wonderful poem. Thank you again. ~Pamela
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I am simply in awe .. I could never write anything as good as this.
Flowed like the river on a summers day.
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Fug-azi
You are kind with your words. Thank you my friend. I am so pleased you enjoyed this poem. ~Pamela
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Vivid, caressing. Ah, but for you dear poet
I would have to view these ambitions alone.
This warms me.
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Richard
Thank you so much. I knew you would appreciate this little view of the river, and the willows, and life. Thank you my friend. ~Pamela
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There is peace in the sunshine of this poem. You catch the loveliness of a quiet day near the water in both warmth of spirit and perhaps early summer where one might linger beneath the sheltering arms of a willow tree in quiet reflection of an idyllic setting.
The prompt by Jhn Milton is also tender and softly observant. ~Karen
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Karen
Thank you so much for your most wonderful comment. I am so pleased you enjoyed this piece. ~Pamela
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A most beautiful poem
to both prompt and picture.
You have used all techniques I can think of available to the poet in sound and movement. By sound I refer to words and phrases: assonance; rhyme; vowel harmony and musicality; elision; alliteration; sibilance and onomatopoeia. 25 different pure vowel and diphthong sounds. Keats is famous for 23 in "To Autumn".
Sibilance at the beginning of words, eliding at the ends of words and beginning syllable within words lends a gentle flowing tone to your diction as do liquid sounds from words such as "GLides".
Take a group of words almost anywhere and one gets a variety of vowels singing sweet music: "How tenderly you swoop and reach
in willowed stretch". [10 vowel changes!]
The beauty lies in good recitation.
Alliteration is subtle and never overdone: "white-FOAmed Filtered glOw;". You have a marriage of alliterative words and assonance here.
Many words echo their sense: "swoops", "croons" and "babbles" are exampl;es of this onomatopoeic activity.
Your personification through the figurative apostrophe in addressing the dawn on the still, willow banked river is deliciously delightful: "Ah, for you,
my aurora beauty do I sing,".
The poem is the spiritual response of the stream to the dawn light.
This poem, celebrating nature at break of day is as beautiful as I could imagine.
Structuraly, lineation and spaciation are rigorously attended to and flow gently and rather wonderfully in this extremely successful free verse poem.
Lyndon of the Winklings.
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Ron
Where do I begin with this wonderful review? Thank you so much. I am so thrilled for your comments and thoughts on this piece. Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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i feel like stretching now and with a smile i dive into the imagery and bask in the loveliness, a good poem
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Ian
It is ALWAYS a pleasure when you stop by to leave you comments. Thank you so much. I am so pleased you enjoyed this one. ~Pamela
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Very beautiful
Even a little rhyme.
Very nice Pam.
Jim
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Jim
Thank you so much. ~Pamela
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This verse causes a brilliant scene to unfold, no
image needed. It has a voice that is captivating in its sentimental observation of nature returning to
her spring glow. Etching colour into every thought
and bringing feeling along. "And so you reach for me,
stretching
to be free of knots and twine -
alight where my heart pines for you
to join and then combine." seemed to be the part
that reached-out to me most with its tones of
love that sets life free. Blue
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Blue
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and the honor of silver in your contest. A great theme and a pleasure to write for. I am simply thrilled. Thank you again. ~Pamela
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