Dearest stranger how you caught my eye,
this sparking my interest.
Trying not to be obvious with the salacious
thoughts tickling my fancy.
If only you could read my mind's play.
Thirsting to collide
a slight brush against your side.
Would you respond in kind?
Stretch my spine,
bend me to your desire,
I am not faint of heart.
Diverting my attention just for a second
to catch my breath.
Can't you feel the heat rising off my body?
Beautiful stranger enter my mind,
become a part of me.
Taste a passion sweeter than pure honey.
God bring a devine intervention,
I pray for relief.
My imagination running wild
douse with intense sensual yearning.
I almost can feel the weight of your body
crushing down on me.
Turn me in to powder.
Perspire...
I will drink you in,
savouring your taste.
Let go, this is my pleasing.
My glorious stranger the thoughts you've caused.
Audrey Evans
3/12/2008
A contest entry
- P.A.R.T.Y. 500 [36 options and still counting] by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
300 points, ended April 28, 2008, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm the kind of girl/boy who.....(easy, creative, fun) by Stormy Sky.
400 points, ended June 3, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions Crying Out {Options} by newnoakua.
550 points, ended June 16, 2008, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poet's Choice IV by Luna Tique Fringe.
1750 points, ended June 1, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - personal favorite by Virgoan.
2000 points, ended June 9, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The VAIN contest - Razor-Blade Romance by Razor-Blade Romance.
600 points, ended July 27, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - lotsa points!!!! (extended time! I want as many entries as possible!) by DogTagz-TheJalapeno.
800 points, ended August 9, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold Anyone? by Cat10.
650 points, ended September 4, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 340 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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not my contest, but I liked it. as well as the "taste of passion" bit. It was an enjoyable slightly erotic read.. best of luck
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A couple of corrections:
"apart" should be "a part"
"savoiring" should be "savouring"
Also, I thought this was a little cliche:
"Taste a passion sweeter than pure honey"
Keep it up. -
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Thank you for pointing out my spelling typos, they are fixed. Ok you think, "Taste a passion sweeter than pure honey.", is cliche.. What do you suggest instead?
Audrey Evans
aka rubyvaroom -
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Well it's your feeling, and it's difficult for me to put it into words for you. But I'd suggest looking for something that's sweet that isn't so commonly used as a sex similie. Food in general is often used as a sex similie, so if you could think of something that wasn't food that worked, that would be cool.
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hm, there is something about this piece...
the pure eroticism of this piece could
be better translated if the formatting was
more organized, and if it were edited
a bit with more...flowing breathly words. -
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Thank you for your input. I have fixed the written form. If you wish give it a look over and tell me what you think. Sorry I disagree with the breathly words idea. This is not a poem about love, it's about sudden lust, wanting to fuck some stranger with no strings attached.
Audrey Evans
aka rubyvaroom
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Wow !
Amazingly written !
Well Done !
Beautiful
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Beautiful...
Keep sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
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Thank you.
Your comment, damn. Thank you very much.
Audrey Evans
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Sorry, I will have to pass on this one..per contest rules.
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ok... which option did you chose? I really have no idea, it was a beautiful poem though. Remember to put your option in your notes... in all the notes that you happen to sumbit to my contest. Much appreciated!
Good luck in the contest... -
i need your SN and i have no idea what option you chose. please enter those in the authors comments.
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Hello, not to sound too dumb, what does, "SN" stand for? If you couldn't tell I'm not really sure what I'm doing. Thank you for you help and support.
Audrey Evans
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wonderful
very sensual
very all-comprising in such a beautiful form.
greatly described senses.
so easy to truely sense all your feelings here.
however, did not get the "pleasEing". where did that E come from? either typo or a grammar-form new to me
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Must read!
All I can say is, Oh my God!
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