soft.
so soft
her hair, i mean.
curled on the floor
poor thing...
all in white.
soft
so soft
her hair, i mean.
her skin, i mean.
her hair.
A contest entry
- Quickie free verse by Randomly Beautiful.
300 points, ended March 16, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I like this poem. It has detail, and yet, your use of detail keeps one wondering what the situation is that your talking about. Very effective way to make the reader think about the true meaning of the poem! I really liked it!
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I'm not all so sure that I really liked this... I just think that you could have done more than just repeat everything... but I suppose... that's just me... maybe the judge will think differently.
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Poor thing makes us think this is not a good situation. We can wonder all we want about what is going on - ideas just keep bouncing - not knowing what...
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hmm.. gives a lotta images to be imagines... so many questions to the story.. why is she on the floor.. is it the killer looking down at his vistim.. admiring, or is a lover looking gently upon his beloved as she is asleep.. so many possibilities. good work. -eleno
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Very elusive and intriguing poem! That last couple lines, they really make the reader wonder...what the intent is there...something deeper, suggesting a fragilty, or maybe a desire...the softness, looking at her, wanting her? Or maybe it's more tragic and suggests someone desiring to hurt...which I lean to because of the line, "poor thing..."
Thanks, this was an excellent read.
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