World-weary, yet still reaching upwards
to cloud-swept skies,
stands an edifice, emptied of artifice,
where impotent doors adorn walls between
hollow rectangle eyes.
By proof of echoes we know that once
important heels clicked marble floors,
and trains rumbled underneath,
where crisscrossing tracks
carried transitory dreams;
but steam swirls here no more.
Weeds thrive where noble face
of prosperous past has cracked.
Few passers-by are reminded of the glory,
or remember the story,
of how gilded grandeur gave way
to derelict demise.
While each aspect and cornice
morphs into blight,
the stone carcass stands,
a monument to craft of mortal hands.
And though wind might whistle through holes
in dry bone walls, they won't yet fall.
Author notes
Prompt: "Urban Rainbows" @ deviantart by ObrAs
and also an old abandoned train station in my area.
A contest entry
- Poets Survivor 3 - TOP 18 - Reward by Ryno.
550 points, ended April 1, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POETS SURVIVOR 3 -- FINAL ROUND- Part A by Poets Survivor 3.
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Be cautious...murder is still against the law. And you certainly killed this one. Wow...your words are remarkable to me. Loved so many lines; these might be my favs: "Few passers-by are reminded of the glory,
or remember the story
of how gilded grandeur gave way
to derelict demise." I have just found a new person to envy (lol...in a good sense though).
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Thank you very much for your kind and generous words.
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"One good turn..." ma'am..."one good turn." I thank you for yours...
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This is incredibly beautiful, meaningful and touching.
The messages here... The emotion, it is also strong. I loved every minute of this one
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Thank you for your wonderful comment!
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Just letting you know Ryan has been sick but will get the survivor results back to everyone soon! Be well!
-ten- -
Very beautiful piece, I loved it. Such wonderful phrasing and emotion. Great work. Hugs, Bunny
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Thank you so much!
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"World-weary, yet still reaching upwards
to cloud-swept skies,
stands an edifice, emptied of artifice,
where impotent doors adorn walls between
hollow rectangle eyes."
Wonderful images and feel you have woven!
Beautiful architectural creations ... once a reflection of flourishing cities and societies ... now abandoned and deteriorating. Buildings left to decay as population and industries shift out of the cities. They seem such sad reminders of a better time. I can only hope that city revitalization will one day give them a second chance. Excellent write! ... good luck in the contest!
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EXCELLENT! Amazing word choice. Impressive images. I love the nostalgia you have captured--encompassing both physical attributes of the station as well as the emotions of those who once passed through. You have really done an excellent job here!
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Thank you so much for the kind comment!
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Nice visuals, oh yeh, thats in my head, You did an excellent job of painting mental images here, it is sad that so many old Train Stations are going the way of the dinosaur.
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Thank you for the nice comment and clappies!
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this is beautiful...romance of the past, irony of a present, and the invitation of the future...to build anew...railroads rose with an industrial landscape and their remnants are such beautiful bones...excellent...PK
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Your poem was filled with beautiful imagery of a fading era in our lives. I enjoyed every word and conjured this building in my mind. You have written graceful, accessible words with well used poetic devices such as internal rhyme. Your line breaks were well chosen to bring full impact to your work. Although I loved all of your words, I was particularly captivated by:
"stands an edifice, emptied of artifice,
where impotent doors adorn walls between
hollow rectangle eyes."
Peace, Liz -
Ahh... How time flies...
"Few passers-by are reminded of the glory,
or remember the story"
When a place had dried up. When there's no more water there, there's no more life. Hmmm... I think of cycles and gentrification. From mansions and visions of granduer to apartment complexes to conviences of living locally to moving to suburbs.
Mansions become musems or get torn down for space. Apartments once lived in by the well to do are left for middle and lower class. Those middle to lower class scrimp and save to move on up to the suburbs where the sons and daughters of suburbanites move into warehouses turned loft and renovating old brownstones...
Wonderful thing isn't it? Those weeds tween the tracks will be pulled free for daisies and tulips. LOL One.
Dez
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Thanks, Dez. It is an amazing process to watch the landscape change along with the economics. There is a lot of irony in those lofts, huh!
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