With a kiss on dying lips, you leave.
I’m left in loneliness and pain to grieve.
“I hate you” forms upon my lips
not echoed in my heart.
In my memory you live
and in that warmth, I can forgive.
I know it wasn’t
choice that made us part.
Each night I see you in my dreams
You’re beside me, so it seems.
It is so real
I almost feel your touch.
Love is blind so it’s been said
and plays such tricks within my head.
I miss you and
I need you very much.
I pray that there is more beyond
where we can meet and seal our bond
and I needn’t live
for dreams anymore.
And so as I prepare to sleep,
my hunger for you runs so deep,
I’ll set my spirit free -
we'll meet once more.
Author notes
pe•num•bral: a shadowy, indefinite, or marginal area
Prompt/Inspiration: "Moonlight Shadow" MIKE OLDFIELD
Picture: http://photobucket.com/images/shadow
Other Lyrics:
-"This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything You need me to be"-The Last Night, Skillet
A contest entry
- Lyrics Inspired by AliceinPoetryLand.
1000 points, ended March 20, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark (again) loss by Selene Tremere.
400 points, ended March 31, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lyrical Inspiration by Carpe Noctem.
300 points, ended April 12, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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excellent
Very well done. Congratulations on your silver.
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Congratulations on a well deserved silver.
A wonderful interpretation of the song and I loved the form you used.
Take care...Sue
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A beautiful take on the song! Love this very much
You have caught the essence of the song so well. The imagery and flow are great! Thanks so much for your entry.
Gaylene
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nice poem! I really liked the fourth stanza ^^ thanks for entering and good luck
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Great write I can relate to some of it. "
In my memory you live
and in that warmth, I can forgive.
I know it wasn’t
choice that made us part."
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nice dark but also loving a good twist to losing some one
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Interesting tital. I had to look up the word....I was not familiar with it. The first verse sets up the poem, I liked it very much. It almost is a poem in itself. Everything that follows ....... seemed a bit forced.
Cheryl
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The poem was prompted by a song (AN) which had a parallel theme - love lost to death and a spectral reuniting. I needed the body to tell the tale but would love additional criticism. What makes it seem forced? Language, rhyme, content? Thank you so much for taking the time!
Ken
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Beautiful and very depressing, I'm sorry if it's in truth.
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