I dreamt last night
of coarse sallow beaches
of tropical breezes that reeked
with sweet scents of hibiscus and anthuriums
and ebony limbs entwined
around milky flesh
as we melded
into each other
always in these dreams
we lie
face to face
pretending
the late night phone call
with father’s harsh voice proclaiming
( you’re not bringing that nigger into my home! )
never happened
of coarse sallow beaches
of tropical breezes that reeked
with sweet scents of hibiscus and anthuriums
and ebony limbs entwined
around milky flesh
as we melded
into each other
always in these dreams
we lie
face to face
pretending
the late night phone call
with father’s harsh voice proclaiming
( you’re not bringing that nigger into my home! )
never happened
Author notes
Just incase anyone wonders how this links to the contest prompt, my promt for this poem was Coffee and Cream ( Cat asked me to move it into this contest )
Before I get comments on this, know that I most certainly am not prejudice and this is only a sad reflection of how little we have come since 1863.
A contest entry
- inside the light- Invite only by Cat.
2125 points, ended April 2, 2008, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i really like what you did with the prompt- you've
really found something here
that could actually become a series (unless you've alread y done that)
i think your first half is
technically stronger than your second
but that your second half has the whallop
that resounds
i think you could eliminate "into each other" and just stop with meld
and then drop into the second stanza from meld
i really like this- so glad you reentered it here
m -
Sadly you are right, the pace is slow on everyone being viewed as a human being with feelings and not just the color of their skin.


-
It's so sad..I would like to think we've moved past this...how many more generations will pass?
Great take on the prompt.

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Nice take on the given prompt, I think. Clever. Sad ending to this, it is resounding, as those words have to be.

Good luck in the contest.


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I am going to reopen two of these contests and would respectfully ask that you enter this piece in one of those.. i will leave messages on the other contests explaining..
ok?
will come back and leave a proper comment

-
-
I moved it to the 'inside the light' contest with a note of what my promt was.
-
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nice blend...
and excellent stint in the liquidity of ample stirrings and the blend causes a putrid aroma from the past and unfortunately, the ever present...great piece of work. Anthuriums, huh? Gonna have to ask Ma, the master gardner about those... ~ EZB
www.moodgroove.com

-
Interesting
We both wrote about fathers.
Times have changed greatly for both of us.
Jim

1 - 8 of 8






