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Requiem For My Heart

As eventide comes in a hauntingly melancholic
threnody begins to play, it reverberates deep within
the visceral chamber that once held my heart and
all the love that we once shared.

A darkly romantic love filled with decadent
and licentious pleasures at times, but always
with truth and understanding for we were two souls
destined to connect and meant to be forever.

Avarice our love grew in sumptuous splendor as
we shared the depths of a lover’s rhapsody,
we overcame the arduous task of letting each other
into the deepest reaches of our very beings.

Then one day to our chagrin our love could no
longer grow; the sunlight had faded into a deathly
pallor of midnight darkness. Your love and heart
had now become mordant and filled with asperity.

My own heart caustic and invidious because when
you left it became tepid and languid until finally I
slowly watched it die. Every night a soliloquy would
unfold remembering back to each moment in your arms.

Your final kiss was more deadly than nightshade
for it was that last touch of your lips that poisoned
my heart condemning it never to love again.

As I stood at the monochrome casket strewn with
sanguine and claret roses where my heart lies I
heard your evanescent voice whisper one last time
“I love you.”

In the beauty of this caliginous crepuscule evening
I watched the casket that bears my heart and my
amaranthine love for you lowered into the ground
where they will forever lie in eternal unrest as this
requiem for my heart now comes to an end.

Author notes

Option 1 (all words used)
Background by Phantomsangel87
Line breaks have been respaced

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    April 5, 2008

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    Absolutely beautiful!

    Sad, dark & honest...
    Beautifully penned...
    Great descriptive narrative, word use, flow & rhythm...
    Blew me away!!!
    A fantastic write you have here...
    Well done!!!


  • Angelic Princess21
    March 18, 2008

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    this is a very good write. and i want to thank you for entering my contest. best of luck to you

    ~Angelic Princess~


  • PatheticKt
    March 17, 2008

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    very beautiful, indeed.
    the lovely words you've used here
    made this dark romance theme really successful in its aspect
    and i have to admit that i'm not good in writing
    this kind of theme but i still love what you've written here.
    i pretty much appreciate the fact i read this.
    although, the flow would've been better in some parts
    since they almost make me feel like i was reading some enjambments.
    nevertheless, wonderfully written, all right


  • Perception
    March 16, 2008

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    beautiful. I love your vocabulary.. Unless it wasn't your vocabulary and just the wordbank you used... But, it really did blend in quite nicely...

    ~ wonderfully done

  • allie529
    March 16, 2008

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    thank goodness for dictionary.com
    but really, i liked the colorful language. i too had a little difficulty with the spacing, it seemed abrupt in places, and may have detracted from one's flow and understanding. But it does present nicely. and GREAT background choice!


  • Metaphorist
    March 16, 2008
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    I agree with writing delight. The flow is off a tad. But I enjoyed it. This part was great: "Your final kiss was more deadly than nightshade for it was that last touch of your lips that poisoned my heart condemning it never to love again." That was one tough wordbank! Great write.


  • BehindTheShadow
    March 16, 2008

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    Nice write, but I do not like how you spaced it. You have some thoughts just running together in my mind. But good job, none the less.


  • redteacup
    March 15, 2008

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    I like what you're trying to say here, the message is clear, but I wish there were more tangible images-- give me more metaphors or similies instead of adjectives... But I like the style. It's interesting. (And I don't know if you were trying to make the line length uniform, or your line breaks just happened to work best there, but there are a few places where it might be more suspenseful/intriguing to change the line break. Just a thought.)

1 - 8 of 8