I walk along two-seventy
Past rocks and one left shoe,
My hand stretched out to passing cars.
The sky's a salmon hue.
Where are the good Samaritans?
I only need a lift.
To...wait...where am I headed to?
My mind's begun to drift.
The cars keep passing, passing by.
I've walked for hours now.
But strangely I do not feel tired.
It's odd, yet true. But how?
I must have walked this road since dawn
And now the sun has set.
And all this time I've signaled cars
But no one's heeded yet.
I stop along two-seventy
And watch the headlights pass.
Why am I stranded on this road?
Did I run out of gas?
I don't remember stalling out
Or looking to be towed.
To clear my mind, I turn from that
So hypnotizing road.
And as I turn, there at my feet -
White roses on a frame
Constructed like the Holy Cross -
A cross that bears my name!
Author notes
3/13/08
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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You just keep getting better and better!
I love that you rhyme so incredibly well.As for this one in particular, I love the tone..Almost like the beginning of a story.
Keep it coming!
~ Overcast.
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I love to read good rhyming poetry especially with a consistent meter. No line was forced; each flowed smoothly into the next. The 8/6 rhythm can sound singsongy in the wrong hands, but you have created a haunting, lyrical poem that deserves to be read more than once. Very well written.
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I love it! I know you love to rhyme, and I have to say that of all the poetry and poets on AP, you do it the best!
I felt as if you were taking me on a journey--your journey--and it was wonderful and pleasing as I read it! The last stanza was my favorite--it was such a unique way to end the poem, and I didn't expect that was how it would finish--surprise is wonderful! 
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very mysterious indeed. great narrative though, I thought this was great
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hoo yeah... very twilight zoney. Always a vibe I appreciate. The build up is just as strong as the ending too. You slowly drop hints, but it's difficult to see that such a punch is coming with the last stanza. I've always wanted to do a piece with the "highway at night" David Lynch kinda imagery, but nothing ever really inspired me. Your piece works as a strong metaphor annnd as a nice highway piece... so great job
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Metaphoric for life in general - there are always those who go through our lives who never stop to join us or help us when we are in need. Such a sad ending - a life without a friend it seems like to me. Only thing that waits is death....
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it seems that you've written this as if you were telling a story while thinking out loud. something like that.
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real life and normal is so much more extraordinary when you can see! .. like you. excellent poem.
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wow
wow
that is good
well now i understand what you mean
great poem
i like the ending
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Oh, this IS superbly HAUNTING! Exceptionally well done, by an old (17 anyway) and most practiced hand! Excellent in every regard! BRAVO... BRAVO... BRAVO... BRAVO...
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A well constructed proper poem with an interesting ending. I think it flows well and as usual you understand poetry much the way I do. Keep it up.
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This is excellent. I loved it!! A haunting piece. Well done with this.
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Outstanding
I liked how you developed this poem and the unexpected ending as if the car has gone to metaphorical heaven. The flow of this poem is excellent and the rhymes faultless. An enjoyable poem to read.
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Perfect! I love the feel of a piece like this. It's real, unlike 95% of the cut-and-paste poetry we read.
Great stuff, m'lady.
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