dust
in fine particles
assemble
a silhouette
of coming together
breathing essence
from dust formed
to dust dispersed
life journeys
layers between
of coming together
breathing essence
all conscious
purposeful
nothing accidental
this profile
of coming together
breathing essence
.
A contest entry
- Dust by Cannonsfire.
650 points, ended March 28, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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rather smoky and hypnotic...I like this very much.
Love, Lane
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I truly did enjoy the metaphor in this piece, dust as the essence of life formed as we breathe. Well done. Love, C
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Some of the most beautiful (and powerful) poetry I've read has been the simple few lines... there is not a superfluous word or akward moment in this. Breath taking in it's simple beauty- I feel as though I've been baptized in a cold pristine mountain lake- emerging to see things in a more colourful and real way. Lovely stuff!!
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The repetition works so well to emphasize the "breathing of essence"... life between the womb and dust, to live the "dash". This write shows that you know the essence and the purpose of this time called life - and also the after-life. A very spiritual piece and so well-written. We breathe this essence every day!
~ Nicolette
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The repitition works really well in this. A very spiritual piece. Excellent write indeed.
All the best.
Many Blessings to you
gaylene
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Ah! I loved the repetition ...
of of coming together/breathing essence ... it reinforced the message: from dust to dust, but with purpose and divine Plan.
Life is no coincidence. It is material moving to the immaterial by a purpose-driven Force.
You know the Essence.
Love
Myra
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