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Caramel

Missing image
Sugar mixed with tears; inhaling screams of aching years,
Wind blew moving her hair; sorrow she took a dress to wear,
In harbor of time a moment she seeked; wrinkled her flesh & made her weak
Mirror mirror on the wall; give me back my youth sell me back my soul

Sugar mixed with heat; knead the flesh to smooth the feet
Her beauty became a stamp; send away from her flesh making it cramp
Release me, the soul furiously yelled; as in cage of time tightly was held
The hair slowly turned gray; servant became to hear and obey

Sugar made to smooth the skin; caging the soul inside its bin
Sugar sweet, sugar sour; attract & charm such as the flower
Sugar and beauty mix to greet; skin, body & heart to bleed
Sugar, no its caramel; the road of heaven and sometimes hell.
 
12:20PM
15-3-2006

Author notes

Mirror Mirror on the wall...

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • liveddog gold member
    May 22

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    Hi G.b.d.,
    Hope this finds you well.

    A most interesting poem - it appears to address the inevitable conflicts of being human. Growing older can bring wisdom, knowledge and experience. We pay a price for this - aging and the lost of youthful beauty. Sugar heated becoming Caramel - life is like that where we can travel down the road to heaven or to hell!! As usual you held my attention G.b.d.

    All the best,
    Liveddog.


  • pukingrainbows
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is really good have you had this published if you haven't you should they would publish it in a second. great write
    -monica


  • luvfamilyluv
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i loved the liquid warmth of vanity and depression. through silky smooth avenues of darkness i feel led to a soft comforting chamber of velvet suffering


  • Gratitude
    August 12, 2008

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    Love this poem, particularly the line:

    Mirror mirror on the wall; give back my youth sell me back my soul

    Very powerful indeed, magical. You really do have a way with your words.


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    August 12, 2008

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    Excellent

    A rather intriguing write with excellent imagery. A good take off from the phrase in your authors notes.
    Again, well done.


  • Deceits Tears silver member
    August 12, 2008

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    Very well penned, Its almost magical, you have a fine way with your words
    Excellent read Thankyou


  • Phantasmagoria
    August 12, 2008

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    I love the poem... It is somewhat sad that this is true, not only for her, but for the rest of us as well... The first stanza was my favorite, and I thought that it was delivered well too...

    Keep up the awesome work... (.^_^.).\

  • Marilyn20Wabba
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Yum

    I put on 10 pounds reading this lovely poem. Absolutely divine. I wish someone loved me as much as this. Oh well back to my caramel ice cream. Well written.


  • jgrayson-au
    August 12, 2008

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    Took me about 5 reads to figure out what (I think) was going on. At first I thought it was about women in general, and almost a 'feminist' poem about women doing all the work in marriage (Don't laugh).

    I think now I 'get it' (I hope). About a older woman reflecting on youth, yearning for it.

    Regardless, it's a very smooth stylised poem that flows really well. A joy to read.


  • islekine gold member
    August 12, 2008

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    Zowie!!!

    This absolutely awesome...I love it...must read more of your work...
    Thanks for sharing! Write on...and on


  • HeartBr8ker
    August 12, 2008

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    WOW!!!

    This is an amazing poem. It has a lot of meanings in it that I can relate to. My fav part is...


    Sugar made to smooth the skin; caging the soul inside its bin
    Sugar sweet, sugar sour; attract & charm such as the flower
    Sugar and beauty mix to greet; skin, body & heart to bleed
    Sugar, no its caramel; the road of heaven and sometimes hell.


    It has captured beauty in a bottle for us to drink. Once again this is an amazing poem. Keep up the good work!!!!!!










  • edens-envy
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely Write

    You use very descriptive language here that truly conveys its message and I really love the formatting of this piece as well, it fits so nicley.


  • blindingblur
    August 11, 2008

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    beautiful

    and sad at the same time. Much in the same way you describe sugar's sweet and sour tendencies. A lovely portrayal of the contradictions and irony that plague life. So much beauty, just to have it stripped away by age.

    thankyou for sharing


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    August 11, 2008
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    MMMM intresting i like your poetry its differnt


  • SpiritDarkmaiden
    May 13, 2008

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    WoW! Isn't that true, all you ever hear people talk about is how they wish they were younger or more beautiful. Well done!

  • Erigeneia
    May 7, 2008

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    Stunning Pen!!!

    sorrow she took a dress to wear

    Your words weave such a tale of longing, captivating from start to finish. Very accomplished writing..

    ~Erigeneia


  • delightfulmess silver member
    March 16, 2008

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    WOW this was very unique... I absolutly love the
    magical chanting aspect to it.

    It sounded like a spell kinda.
    This is a beutiful poem of yearning for youth


    Delila


  • ennovy silver member
    March 15, 2008

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    Magnificent Piece of Art

    Ahh! you have penned the fate of life for some women and I see the story unfold, in sadness, pain and her being a prisoner of her own beauty. This is a brilliant write that touched me very deeply......novy

1 - 18 of 18