Lost…Who am I?
If only the world could hear
this intense
internal screaming
I play tortuous games with
my mind, teasing my inner self.
My game playing
equals days
spent
feeling the failure.
For you I smile,
nod and say
“everything’s okay”,
losing control on the inside
but
saving you from complete
loss of hearing.
Heart pretends while
eyes hide the pain.
Mouth moves, lies exhaled,
told to cover deep truths.
The
questioning of
just who I am?
In a list
A contest entry
- JUST TWO DAYS TO REACH 1000 ENTRIES !!!! ( BE A PART OF THIS RECORD BREAKING CONTEST ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 1, 2008, 526 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I can relate very much to feeling like this and the way it is written very much highlights it to any reader, whether they have felt this way or not.
It may be different from person to person, different reasons, different things that cause the internal pain, but I know from my own personal experience about the screaming. It's never easy to control, and often even harder to tell or let others who are close to see.
Even when things are going well, when life is good, still it can happen, still it can be there and still you wonder 'am I putting myself through this on purpose?', I know that's how I often feel and I've been doing my fair share of it a lot recently.
But, there are people there who care, all we can really do is let them in.
Good write.
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Thank you for stopping in on this one, much appreciated
Cindy
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Return to the empty beginning by using meditation. The silent oneness. When you stop asking answers will arise
through awareness and understanding. Don't be the soul never knowing itself lost to confusion in the world. This poem says to me you are not lost. You just havn't been this way before... it can feel lonely and isolated. You are slowly discovering yourself. It takes alot of courage to ask and admit we arn't sure who we are. Well done Cindi!
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Thank you so much for each kind word you write to me on this poem
I boy I hate to say it but yes I have been this way before....this kind of writing though I don't do it often comes from the mental illness I suffer...and that sometimes gets on top of me lol.
Meditation a wonderful piece of adivce & something I do, do but should do more and you have reminded me of this, so thank you
and thanks again for your great comment, showing of friendship
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I can relate and identify to this piece in many ways.
It's like a mild controlled breakdown of who you are, balancing on the edge of reason. You need to find a constructive outlet for the internal damns filled with frustration blocking Cindi from free flowing. They can turn in onj you creating all manners of dis-ease. A mantra or a punch bag even to rid your self of the cloud that lingers around your well-being. A deeply emotional piece of poetry expressed beautifully
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You did a intriguing picturisation of the inside of yours revealing the unrevealed pain by the heart and touching the every part of yours with a question of its defination as well..this is qaite a deep task you did here..well done....
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Thank you so much
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Oh hun... you have no idea how much this write touched me! For you could have been reading my own mind...
Wow.. I'm so sorry if you feel this way... all I can say is.. I'm here...
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Thanks sis....you knwo what I have been going through recently is more a result of that then feelings right this minute lol...But I like writing these writes, they do help me feel not so clouded
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wow sweetheart
this is beautiful...
wow wow wow
your amazeing
well you are my sis sooo
you ahve to be
love you -
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awwwwwwww
hehehehehehe
Thanks darl, Love U too
Cin
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Cindy dear, this is spectacular! first rate this is!
Looks like all those long hours on the lap top are paying off.
Love and peace,
mj.
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I know who you are...you're my Cin. You're one of my beautiful daughters who is talented and full of passion for life, love and anything the world throws at her.
Love always
Mum 
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Thanx Mum
just one of those feel a bit lost, clouded writes..But thanks for the pick me up
U
Cin
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