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Release these earthly bonds holding me in despair,
deliver me to heaven’s door without remorse or care,
for I endured and paid the price, but also lost the fight,
drowning in a bed of tears by your absence every night.
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A contest entry
- loosing a loved one by karas.
400 points, ended November 25, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Oh boy! This hits home for me! I feel as if I am on that bed of tears, everyday! you did a great job on capturing the pain of that!
. Rewarded 3
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absolutely true of the person's feeling of the loss of the loved one..beautiful poem with very powerful expressions enough to drown in the grief itself...
. Rewarded 3
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sad and beautifly written
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A sad poem you have written, but you have done a great job writing it. THanks for entering and good luck!
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Oh. This is a sad little poem that you have going on in here. It sounds like you have been having some rough times and you are struggling to pick yourself up and go on. I hope that by writing this you feel a little better. I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself here.
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beautiful
wonderful write dear poet, well done and good luck -
this was beautiful, yet so sad...and i hope that you feel better eventualy and am sorry that you are so upset...good luck in the contest....
. Rewarded 4
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A beautiful poem created from an appealing picture reminiscent of Ophelia. The skill here is in your use of so few words to tell such a story.
. Rewarded 4
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Thought provoking piece
you have here Bazza, I can honestly say that is had a powerful impact to me and hit close to home in some related situations Ive gone thru in my past and that of my friends/family members. You have penned this in the most amazing of ways, and I thank you for sharing the creativeness from deep within. Congrats on the trophy, well deserving.
Ephiphany
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very sad...and yet so pretty in its thoughts! LOve the feel of the work! Its so flowing and filling!
thanks for entering and good luck!
pri
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What a gorgeous piece of poetry. It sounds incredible read aloud. I feel the longing in this, it touches me deeply.
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks for the lovely comments and there is no better reward than applause and comment by one's peers. Thanks a million
Bazza
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Not my taste.
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AFTERTHOUGHT!!!
Kindly permit me to copy this poem with due reference to your authorship and allow me to fix it by the framed picture I bought at the Louvre??? What say you? DW -
STUPENDOUS!!!
This, dear friend, is Royal Poetry! Short, precise and to the point without losing the poetic effects that so obviously are emmanating from this very fine work; I really am inspired here Bazza ji! The picture, by the way, hangs in the Louvre and I saw it; I also managed to get a copy of it, and it now hangs in my livingroom: every time I will look at it now, your excellent poem will come to my mind: thanks for the effort and input... DW
. Rewarded 8
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Wow. Wow. WOW!!!
I am blown away by this poem, you took the picture to a whole new level and I just am speechless
♥
Thank you for your entry
Besy of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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Thankyou for the memory.
Thank you for the wonderful comment and applause. Glad you enjoyed it. I really enjoyed working on this whan I saw your painting prompt. A really classical work, and of course, thank you for the silver trophy.
Bazza
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It's funny how we each relate to the prompts differently. Your take is beautifully done and the rhythm and flow are flawless. Good luck.
Ken
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A perfect fit to the prompt. You have managed to fit a wonderful story into so few words. Superbly penned, good luck
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This is so beautiful. This write goes perfectly with this picture. It seems that this picture was meant for this poem. WEll done and best of luck for the contest.
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"for I endured and paid the price, but also lost the fight,
drowning in a bed of tears by your absence every night."
Excellent work mate! Good luck in the contest!
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This is beautiful. It expresses so much of what I feel that I cannot begin to put it in words and I'd hate to bore you with the details. Nonetheless, this was a greate piece. -R.T
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(I'm going daft, Bazza - I had a comment for you on this poem, and I pasted it into a comment field for someone else. I hate computers!)
This is a nice piece of work - short and sweet, and very restrained for you. I hope it does really well in the contest.
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Mathematics and poetry
Ha ha it HAD to be short .... 40 words or 15 lines ..... och lassie, i din nae able to put less than 40 in a single line (or a couplet as some say ...)so I had tae do it. The painting pulled a few cords ... just had to give it a bash...thanks for the applause and compliment too. How are you ?? just getting back into AP but every time I leave someone does something that makes me try again ... will read more of your wonderful work too as I get a chance, but it is hard sharing the computer line with 6 people.
Barry
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I look forward to your comments - hold on, I'll IM you.
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