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Your shoes

I've been where you are.
I've worn your shoes.
I've looked out with eyes to heavy to keep open.

I turned out the lights. Darkness.
I walked towards my ambition. Lost.
I stopped to rest. Weary.

I slept where you've slept. Cold.
I went without. Hungry.
I begged. Humility.

I cowered alone. Fearful.
I wept silently. Sorry.
I fell under the weight. Broken.

I had faith. Promise.
I learned patience. Love.
I trusted the heavens. Acceptance.

I've been where you are.
I've worn your shoes.
I've looked through your eyes.

Author notes

very cheesy...no?
I was thinking of taking off the word lifted from the end. I am not sure. I think this piece needs work but I had to step away from it for a bit. I will most likely be coming back to it...

original last line
I've looked out with eyes... Lifted

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Comments


  • warrior-eagle
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think that you should take it out
    and maybe write something else?
    I've been where you are.
    I've worn your shoes.
    ... And something else that adds to us knowing that you KNOW what it feels like to be :there:


    • emanon
      March 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I changed it to I've looked through your eyes.
      what do you think?

  • warrior-eagle
    March 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It's not cheesy.
    At least not to me,
    it reminds me of a poem I wrote "The Best is Yet to Come"
    this is actually good. It depends on YOU but to me it's great.

    ..Simply Me♥


    • emanon
      March 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. What do you think of the last line? should i remove the word lifted?