You tell me I'm yours
and I'm the only one you adore.
Never knowing we would last,
months and months just flew past.
But, we were on a ride.
Like a roller coaster
that had fallen of it's track.
I never thought you would ever
leave my side.
Friends till the end,
is what you once said.
Now, not one word is spoken.
To this day I still try to remember
what you said in the end
but,
Quite frankly my dear,
I don't give a damn.
Author notes
Alright, I know that the title doesn't go with the poem at all but, I couldn't think of a title so this is what I got. I will not change it either. Ha!
This poem may not be very good but I felt like putting it into a contest that caught my eye.
A contest entry
- Write to the finish #2 by tarcus.
760 points, ended March 17, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Not bad effort if a little short perhaps.
-
The title would make more since if it was "Off the Track"
Just associating it with the roller coaster metaphor.
"Off Track" is more like your mind is else where, you know?
Just a suggestion.
-
the stanza...
"But, we were on a ride.
Like a roller coaster
that had fallen of it's track."
...is a bit cliche. -
I know what you mean,
and everything this is
about.
Man, I really hate
that kid though.
He's ruined a lot in
the past few years,
hasn't he?
-
Wow love this poem its really really good its got attitude thats good
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