Murky streams of unconscious realizations,
broken screams of unknown terror.
Lost recollections of accidental insanities.
Whispers of intentional mistakes;
forced calamities remembered forever.
Stored for a thousand years,
one more agonizing voice screaming at me.
Resolute disgust in my own weakness,
it is my clandestine reality.
My hidden forever.
Another echoing screech silently tormenting me.
This obscure broken soul,
condemned as self-inflicted.
Crumbling uncertainties.
When did 'if' become 'when'?
Unattainable imperfection.
Forced belief; tolerable becomes impossible.
Screaming tyrants force these,
accidental iniquities.
Distant echoes soon solely remembered,
as a reason for tomorrows persuaded mistakes.
Queries of the unknown.
Mistaken conclusions.
Loyalty is attempting to repair me.
Inclination for understanding a forgotten delusion.
Trepidation surrogates the wish for comprehension.
At least these tyrants will stay always.
Author notes
so.. umm. random as this seems.. this is about a schizophrenic killer. the voices in their head forces the person to kill, and then the guilt of that forced accident is used as reason for another murder.
I'm really actually not extremely psycho/scary . it's just that I had to write a short story for English, and it was about a schizophrenic killer, so now I'm writing this. because I think it's unfair that people blame other people with problems like this for their problems like they are self-inflicted or something.
A contest entry
- A B S T R A C T I O N S.....W E L C O M E by Albrecht Duracell.
1000 points, ended March 24, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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A pet peeve of mine... I don't like poems that revolve around the author's "I" and "me". There wasn't anyway you could know that, sorry. Your notes say the poem is about a psycho-dude, but the "voice [is] screaming at me", and "Another echoing screech [is] silently tormenting me", and "Loyalty is attempting to repair me." I apologize for my own shortcomings dealing with people's "me" poetry.
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haha.. dont worry about it. I have the same thing.. except with another form of poetry.
thanks for the comment!
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interesting
I got something completely different thatn your explanation of the poem. I went for more symbolic meanings, that's probagbly why. It is dark, but very well written so great write -
WOW intense, the words chosen and delicate meanings of the deep dread within this person is really profound, how one event leads the concious to another and the sense of self loathing is amazingly related to the reader, although the actual mention of a murder would make a extra dimensional punctuation, the whole thing is very classilly done
thanks poet
w pesto and biscuits
-JAS
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Hmm...interesting. I really liked the flow and the rhyme scheme and everything, and it was really good. And now I understand the story, thanks to the AN. Good job, and I definitely agree with you.
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Wow, this is amazing.
After reading the notes, as weird as it may seems, the way you wrote it made me be able to feel like I was the person.
Not saying I'm a schizophrenic killer, but your wording is that well done that I could see inside their head and where there coming from. Well, one of them at least.
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Nice job. Great abstraction. Insightful.
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i really like this one
good job
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Mental disabilities are just like having diabetes - not much you can do about it; some medications help, but when they go off - it's back to this kind of behavior. WE think nothing of those with MS or muscular distrophy, yet treat those with mental ailments like they have leprosy and do not want to be near them. They also need out sympathies and help. Liked the words used in this poem, the flow and the story you tell here.
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