Sarahs warm, soft fingers
with a ring on her ring finger,
drawing on a piece of paper
for a game that we play.
The sand is white and soft,
the surf is gentle,
rolling up on the shore,
the palm trees swaying
in the gentle breeze,
the ocean water is clear glass.
I ask, “Do you want to take a walk?”
A contest entry
- March New Members contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended April 8, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
Nice work... You've painted a wonderful portrait in my mind of these words so softly woven. The ending is perfect for this piece!
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter
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Welcome to AllPoetry
I especially liked the first half of this. I think the impact would be more effective if you used less adjectives, but I enjoy the small details you describe. They show so much of how you feel. Good luck in the contest )
~Diana -
Maith tu! All the cliched comments apply here, in a nice way. Beautiful imagery, good flow, etc. etc....
One little thing, though. You say
'Sarahs warm, woft fingers.' I think you may mean
'Sarah's warm, soft fingers?' Or is woft an adjective I've never heard before? -
Welcome to AllPoetry
I adore the sweetness of this write but am confused how this fits into the contest ?
♥
Thank you for your entry
Best of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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Welcome to Allpoetry
A very peaceful, beautiful poem. However I am not too sure how this fdits into the contest criteria. Who is this person who has or is being so influential in your life?
Thanks so much for entering
Gaylene
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I liked this, but what is 'woft'? The rest is superb.
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