Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Grey Dawn

My dawn is of grey shades
from iron to silver
heavy and light.

Some times it rumbles
so is the strength of the platinum.

Monochromatic is my sight,
and pale my feelings
nothing is white or black.

My world is made of shades
always grey,
pending in the balance
of the blind justice.

What shade will prevail
darker as my mind?
lighter as my heart.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Shancy Fayre
    March 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I find this very deep and interesting. I like the direction you went with this. I like your choice of color and descriptions. Full of cold imagery. Very nice. Shancy.


    • Allura
      March 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks.

      I love other colors but grey is the shade of life.

      Blessed Be

      Allura


  • Perception
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm... Very interesting use of language with the colors of gray... The overall affect, which didn't come until the end is pretty good... Powerful infact... I like how this one is written...

    ~


    • Allura
      March 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Powerfull, i don't know about that, but i am happy you liked it.

      Blessed Be

      Allura


  • Nicolette gold member
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Althought this poem is predominantly grey, you've managed to show us the contrasting colours of the mind and the heart.

    The question you ask at the end is very thought-provoking - made me think about my own shades too and I know many who read this poem will reflect on that too. I also liked the way you've weaved "heavy and light" and "dark and light" into this - well done.

    Thank you for sharing your world of shades with us in this contest.

    ~ Nicolette

    • Allura
      March 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks.

      It's always an honor when you can make others reflect about what you write, to have done so, is already a victory.

      I wrote about my inner color, the one that rules my deeds, and for me one color as many hues that goes from the heaviest hark to the palest light.

      Have a nice time judging.

      Blessed Be

      Allura


  • Charity Ann
    March 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hopefully lighter as your heart. This is a sad piece...but very clever for the contest! Good Job! I like how you say, "monochromatic is my sight." Such good word usage. Monochromatic is a word many native english speakers do not even know. I think that's my favorite line because it paints such a vivid picture in my mind. I also like your comparisons of iron and silver to heavy and light. You used a lot of good imagery in this poem. Great job and good luck in the contest. Happy Saturday!

1 - 7 of 7