Wet sidewalk,
I notice,
stepping around the puddles.
Clouds rolling by,
powerful mass of water
going through the sky.
Clear water drips on my face
wiping away all of my thoughts
of the day that I have lived through.
No distractions as I stop,
listening to the thunder,
looking up at the sky
as the rain pelts my unprotected face.
The water, washing away my fears,
my unhappy thoughts.
I sigh, walking again,
back to the long dull day,
passing through the majestic beauty
of the rain.
Author notes
Chocoholic156
**********Option 8
For this option, I want you to either give me your best prewitten poem or put everything inside of you into a new poem about anythin you wish! This is your chance to give me all youv'e got.
Option Six~ Planets, stars, blankets, fires, memories, together, space, rings, whispers, night, and raindrops.
Same as option five. Just a different set of words. (Brownie points for the use of all concepts.)
"A Beautiful Lie"
- Theres Something Sexy About the Rain group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Imaginary by know one.
750 points, ended August 29, 2008, 109 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes and Fresh Writes Contest by FloridaGatorQueen.
525 points, ended November 15, 2008, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter What Ever You Want (No Erotica) by fairytalelovestory.
923 points, ended January 21, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options Options Options! Come on in!! by Princess Cuddle Bug.
550 points, ended January 23, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
this is a really kewl write i like the imagery and everything! my only request is that you put which option you choose in your AN
please and thank you!
thanks for entering and good luck,
~*Princess Cuddle Bug*~ -
This is an awesome poem. I love the way you describe the rain. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
-
This is so pretty and the imagery is fantastic. I love thef lines " Clear water drips on my face
wiping away all of my thoughts
of the day that I have lived through.
No distractions as I stop,
listening to the thunder,
looking up at the sky
as the rain pelts my unprotected face."
GREAT JOB -
nice
I like the imaganary,thanks for entering. -
this is beautiful.
great work!
=] -
thats beautiful... i happen to LOVE ♥rain♥!!
this was very well written.. i might suggest somewhat of a format but thats just a suggestion..
anyways thanks for entering
good luck -
Great description of rain. Enjoyed your imagery. Best to you in the contest.
-
Interesting. It's about how I feel when I'm out in the rain. Excellent work. I liked the simplicity of this work. It was very matter-of-fact.
-
I like how rather than be like, ugh, a dull day and now rain! you take the time to appreciate and enjoy it. (I bet you hopped in lots of puddles as a child...
Great description, though a bit repetitive in the images (you talk about rain on your face a lot), I got the impression this was a relatively quick write. (I could be totally wrong, but that's what that sort of repetition does...) Anyway, I recommend a bit of editing, but overall this piece was great, and best of luck to you in the contest!
--Shannon -
Nicely written! I do like it very much but it isn't really ewhat I was looking for. maybe if you got into the emotions more... It was well written as it is already, though. Good luck in the other contests though!
Emma
-
I love how you describe the rain. It's very meaningful. I enjoyed this. Great write.
Alyssa
-
Yes, the rain can be very soothing. I love it, as long as I don't have to drive in it
Thank you for sharing your favorite with me, best of luck in the contest.
♥
whisper
-
wow!
This is such a beautiful poem on sadness in the rain. Perfect combination. It all went through my mind like a music video. I felt like comforting this person by the end.
Towards the end, the sadness is still there but you realize the "majestic beauty" of the rain. That is so very sweet. please do put the option number in the A.N. Best of wishes in the contest!
love,
transit
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
