All the sky in a thimble
condensed, as milk, sweetly
such blue
such rain
such power over me
tapping out a message
skin on skin
the current fails to convey
my secret
but lines lay broken
dashed accross
time's expances
and memory
left with only
a million yesterdays
one now
and no tomorrow
Where does it take you?
Comments
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Some great lines and excellent sensory detail as in the following:
tapping out a message
skin on skin
the current fails to convey
my secret
To answer your question, "Where does it take you?" I am not sure. At first I got a sense of a lover waxing sentimental about a past love, a broken relationship...not bitterly but just one of those "that didn't work out" kind of relationships.
Then thoughts provoked by the last stanza.
a million yesterdays...lots of memories, some regrets?
one now...living in the present
and no tomorrow ?! No future? Don't jump,please!
Hope you take no offense at any of my commments. I enjoyed your poem. Very well written.
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no offence at all! I am FASNTASTICALLY hard to offend, especially when you're being so honest.
You're totally right on th emoney, the poem is about a past relationship... it's actually about someone that I had a relationship with in the past who has drifted back into my life after several years. I find I still have intense feelings for him.
You're pretty bang on for the last stanza as well, but I'll clarify.
It's a statement that I must honor the past, and what we had, but not let it interfere with what is now, if it's not to be again. The statement isn't 'no tomorrow' as in, I want to end it all... but in a way it's a statement of admission that there may be no tomorrow for 'US' and I have to accept what is there, and take it for what it is.
It's a longing, really... in a way... it's a bit of a wish.
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