Skeletal,
she pulls me away
from dreams of carrion
and forces corners on me,
so that I may learn to cry,
because I'll need it in life...
or at least life with her,
where nothing can rot
except nothingness,
and sanity is a beckoning lie
told to the innocent little kids
who lie in bed at night,
hiding from monsters
they'll soon learn are as real
as the hurt that's bred
from the lies you swore to never tell,
and the promises you always knew you'd break.
Author notes
Carrion - dead and decaying flesh.
Can you say "random ramble"?
(Title was a play on "saving grace" for good reason, but not quite effective as I'd quite like)
Criticism appreciated.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Very true write.- particularly the latter part- it has an air of telling kids the easter bunny doesn't exist to it lol (sorry I can't come up with a deeper metaphor- thats terrible). A learned bitterness that is reflected very well in the title. I thought of anorexia in the first few lines- though the poem wasn't focussed on that at all..Good bitter write.
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... you're the only one to get to that. It is a bizarre poem, directed to both anorexia and myself. Confusing, I admit.
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No, I really quite get it now. Emotions are confusing when you're starved (logically at least).
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'hiding from monsters
they'll soon learn are as real
as the hurt that's bred
from the lies you swore to never tell,
and the promises you always knew you'd break. '
I love that ending, and I'll think the title works just fine
Oh...
'and forces corners on me,
so that I may learn to cry,
because I'll need it in life...'
I also love that bit^^
I'll stop before your poem ends up reincarnated in the comment box
♥
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thanks! Glad someone loves this piece as much as I did when I wrote it 
after that, though, I picked it to pieces and decided I hated it. C'est la vie.
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I do that alll the time... like something when I write it, and then hate it
It's a great piece truly
♥
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A very telling write. Feels quite personal, but nothing weird about it! This reminds me of myself. Very pointed in speaking about "her," who appears to be your mother. Breaking promises and telling lies can defeat love and childhood adoration, indeed.
Very nice poem with a very sad tone and message.
~ Joyce
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It is somewhat about that, on some scale when I reread it the poem fits perfectly to that, but on another level it is about something that - truth be told - is what makes it odd or strange, but very personal.
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My darling,
What a great job you did on this one!! I think the title works quite well! This is great!! You have a great talent my drling!!
Best of luck in this contest!!
Ek is lief vir jou altyd
Mom
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