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I am

I am the one that everyone sees.
I follow the one everybody needs.
I am the one that loves and learns.
I am the one that wants and yearns.
I am the one whose soul is not lost.
I am the one that will save others

No matter the cost.

Author notes

I am Christian

A contest entry

me

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • individuality gold member
    September 4

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    a good piece of poetry which you have presented here, ah to have strong faith in life is a good thing i reckon, to smile and dance love and follow the light of hope in this world.


  • Snap.Crackle.Pop
    May 16, 2008

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    i like this. you are who you are, and you are not afraid to say it! Well done! heehee. great jobb.


  • aeolia
    May 1, 2008

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    "I am the one that everyone see's" -- should be "sees." Apostrophes are used to show possession ("Jon's book") or make contractions (don't, can't, etc). They are not used to make nouns plural or form verbs. So, "she sees, he reads," not "she see's, he read's" and so forth.

    "I am the one who's soul is not lost" -- "who's" means "who is" or "who has." "Whose" is the possessive.

    Also, the repetition stifles this.

    -Cristina


  • crazymomma
    April 30, 2008

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    I really like this. I know so many who claim to be Christian but don't make that info public for fear of scorn. If you believe in something you should let the world know.


    • The Nose
      April 30, 2008
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      Well... currently, If someone added something else on my pile of scorn, no one would notice. People don't like me cuz they say I'm a goody-two-shoes cuz my mom's a teacher. It's cuz the spirit is with me... I try to tell them that, but they just make fun of me and when i try to tell them why i don't get mad or anything ignore it! do you know what to do?


  • Stars of Hope
    April 27, 2008

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    Wow. Powerful.
    Very strong. You really depict a few aspects of a strong Christian here. I only wish you wouldn't developed it a little more. Made it a smidge longer. But that's up to you. I love the last line!

    Luv ya oodles!
    Courtney


  • look for tomorrow
    March 17, 2008

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    This is good. I like it, granted I say that a lot, when I said keep it short, you really kept it short

1 - 8 of 8